Bill Shorten has absolutely no idea how to eat a sausage in bread.

Oh boy.

It’s been a long campaign for everyone, but I bet it’s seemed even longer for the party leaders.

Eight weeks of cameras in your face and journalists following you around like a not-so-cute brace of baby ducks.

If you were Bill Shorten, you probably woke up this morning and thought “hallelujah. Just a few more photo ops, a ballot box and a sausage sandwich stand between me and endless think pieces about what I did right or wrong”.

I’m sure he didn’t anticipate the sausage would also invite mass speculation about his character and ability.

But there you go. This is where we are Australia.

Ok yeah, but is he smashing it correctly? Australia says no.

Bit harsh Philip.

Somewhere, someone is madly re-captioning that Downfall scene.

Even the betting agencies were piling on.

Then there were the apologists.

She does make a good point. Sliced white bread FTW.

And then, there was the words of wisdom we all needed to hear:


For the record, Bill said he was planning to eat four glorious democracy sausages today. So there’s still time to redeem himself.