By ROSIE WATERLAND
I’m pretty sure you should put down that paper and take a moment with me to discuss the most important news of the last 24 hours: The bro is back. (You thought it was going to be that gay thing the Pope said, didn’t you? Psych!)
That’s right my friends, Big Brother returned to our screens yet again last night, and because I’m a selfless, hard-hiting journalist, I took the time to watch it so I could bring you the basic rundown. Here we go:
So, what is this ‘twist’ that has been advertised relentlessly across Channel 9 the last few weeks? No bogans? A Big Brother celebrity? A Big Brother BABY?!? Sadly, no.
The ‘twist’ is a sociological experiment in which a major economic divide has been created amongst the housemates with the aim of observing possible (probable, already happening) changes in their behaviour as a result. HILARITY ENSUES!!
Basically, they put up a glass wall that divides the housemates, and half of them are treated like crap while the other half live like kings. The crappy half has been eloquently named the ‘Halfway House’, and the unlucky housemates on that side have to beg their ‘rich’ neighbours for food (and wash their undies, just to make things interesting). Some of the housemates on the good side have already started getting narky about sharing their food, which Big Brother is no doubt hoping will descend into Lord of the Flies/Guantanamo style madness.
One of the dividing walla (Pic: BB website)
It’s pretty much the usual bunch this year, and all managed to walk out into the screaming crowd with the kind of swagger that suggests they already feel famous. There’s a couple of non-descript pretty girls, a Shane Warne clone, a no-nonsense mum, a
huge coup for 9 war hero, a total douche-canoe, the token eccentric guy, the girl who isn’t classically beautiful and therefore has body-image issues… You get the idea.
Best Housemate: The token eccentric guy, Ben, who with his bulldog pyjamas is already the sweetie-pie dark horse everyone is hoping will win.
Worst Housemate: The total douche-canoe, Tim, who creppily convinced one of the non-descript pretty girls to strip into her bikini within five minutes, immediately started treating people in the Halfway House like crap and got annoyed at Ben (Ben!) for having awesome PJs when he’d clearly tried really hard to stand out with his ridiculous skeleton onesie. You might also vaguely remember some rumblings in the news last year about a radio DJ streaking at a Rihanna press junket. That was him.