The 7 best mascaras for ugly criers

Image: Carrie Mathison AKA Claire Danes ugly crying in Homeland.

An ugly cry can strike anywhere at anytime: while watching any episode of Offspring ever, reading/watching The Fault in Our Starspost-terrible haircut, or when you’ve had a really shitty day and someone is being nice to you FOR NO GOOD REASON.

For the Carrie Mathisons among us there is hope. Possibly not emotions wise, but for a cracking mascara that won’t destroy our faces mid-meltdown.

Here goes, just try to get to the end without crying, ok?

1. Blinc Smudgeproof Mascara

Blinc is the original tubular mascara. In short, tubular mascara uses flexible polymer “tubes” to form around the lashes instead of the traditional oils and waxes used in regular mascara. Try it, and you’ll never go back to traditional mascara again - I almost never bother with anything else now.
(Blinc also have a lash primer if you like a high maintenence beauty routine.)

Blinc Smudgeproof Mascara $38, available at Adore Beauty.

2. Bourjois Volume 1 Seconde Mascara

So technically, this one isn’t a tubular or waterproof mascara, but it’s smudge-proof formula lasts for ages and ages. I should know, I slept in it.

Bourjois Volume 1 Seconde Mascara $15, available at Priceline.

3. Clinique Lash Power Mascara

Clinique’s Lash Power is another totally tubular mascara. I know this one is good from my own extensive ugly cry trials, and it’s got 20 out of 20 glowing reviews on the brand’s website.  And as Amazon tells us, beauty reviews can be brutal.

Clinique Lash Power Mascara Long-Wearing Formula $38 at Clinique.

4. Max Factor False Lash Effect Waterproof Mascara

You (probably) love the original thin-lash boosting mascara, and the waterproof formula will see you through a day at the beach, spin class or any movie directed by Nick Cassavetes.


Max Factor False Lash Effect Mascara Waterproof, $17.50, available here.

5. Lancôme Hypnose Star Mascara

If I could only wear one mascara for the rest of my life, it would be this one. Admittedly, it was the glittery packaging that appealed to me in the beginning, but this tubular mascara lengthens and curls my lashes without clumping. It’s also one of the easiest to remove.

Lancôme Hypnose Star Mascara, $52, available at Myer.

6. Bobbi Brown No Smudge Mascara

If I was going to award the best mascara to wear to an all-night dance party, the honour would go to Bobbi Brown’s No Smudge Mascara. It won’t flake, smudge or MOVE for a solid 24 hours.
You can also swipe it over your other mascaras to make them instantly waterproof, but I’m not entirely sure why you’d want to do that.

Bobbi Brown No Smudge Mascara, $44, available here.

7. Eyeko Sport Waterproof Mascara

I’ve only tested this newbie out once so far, but it was during my Physicore class. If you’ve read my class report on that, you’ll know that I was beetroot-faced and dripping with sweat about 10 minutes in, and this mascara didn’t budge. It was the only thing that didn't fall apart that day.

Eyeko Sport Waterproof Mascara, $36, available 28th September 2014 exclusively at Mecca Maxima & Kit Cosmetics.

What’s your favourite mascara and why?

And please enjoy this gallery of the best celebrity ugly cries because Friday.

Do you have a favourite tragedy-proof mascara we've missed out on?