Oi, you over there, tending to your fiddle leaf fig. Yes, you with the
wanky spray bottle.
And you, rotating your snake plant in line with the afternoon sun.
We need to have a chat about fake plants.
It’s come to my attention that some of you have a thing against fake plants. And by ‘thing’, I mean you think they’re abominations. An insult to the good plant name.
They’re toxic! you cry. They don’t give you any health benefits and introduce chemicals into your house! And they’re so expensive.
But here’s the thing…
Do you honestly think we don’t know all of this? That we wouldn’t prefer to have a house full of living, breathing plants to detoxify our lives?
Of course we would, but for various reasons like general laziness, we can’t. We didn’t choose this life. It chose us.
And for that, a lot of which is out of our control, we shouldn’t be denied the right to having an Pinterest-worthy place like this one.
So in defence of a bit, or a lot of fake greenery, please consider the following:
Real plants and pets don’t mix.
Now this is an extremely broad generalisation, but… your real plants are trying to kill your pets.
A number of plants are actually poisonous to cats and dogs, and could cause illness or even death, according to the RSPCA. In particular, those Instagram-worthy fiddle leaf figs and your cat shouldn’t be hanging out together.
“My cats fave thing to do is chew sticks and twigs so plants haven’t been introduced yet because I’m too scared I’ll come home and find him dead and the plant mauled,” proud cat owner, Peta said of why she can’t, nay, won’t have real plants in the house.
So if you love your cat, switch to fake plants.