By MICHELLE D’CROIX
Recently, I confessed to a complete stranger at a party that there is a really big hole in my life …
I was of course, talking about love.
And it’s silly in some ways. Because my life is filled with love. Lots of it. And some of it, quite remarkable.
But I am talking specifically abo
ut romantic, intimate love. This is what is lacking in my life and has been for a decade.
A few days later I saw this stranger, she said she’d been thinking about me. She looked earnestly told me I needed to find happiness within myself before I could find happiness with someone else.
I didn’t need to think about this for more than a second.
Wanting intimate love has nothing to do with not being happy within myself. I like myself. I can honestly say, ‘I am enough.’ Most days. I’m all good about being a work in progress.
This doesn’t take away from the fact that I feel there is an empty space waiting to be filled.
I have watched so many of my friends fall in love, share joy with their partner, unite in beautiful ceremonies, create their first home together, miraculously
produce healthy babies, and then find their way through the chaos to go on to become amazing role models for their kids.
I know it’s not always perfect. I know that many of those friends want more. More freedom. More sex. More help around the house.
But I still want what they have. Flawed as it can be.
I know that it is precisely for the fact that I don’t have what they have, that I was recently able to travel for a year through Latin America. What better way to distract yourself from feeling lonely than to busy yourself with the joys of travelling?
Travel brings with it many benefits. The best thing is seeing your lifewith fresh & grateful eyes.
Right now, I am content. But I am also tired of waiting. And there’s a part of me that feels I am running out of time.