reality tv

5 things you definitely forgot about the best show on Aussie TV: Being Lara Bingle. 

Being Lara Bingle was one of the best shows to ever air in the history of Australian television and we shan’t be hearing a word against it.

The then 24-year-old was followed around by a camera crew for a 10-part series that aired on Channel 10 in 2012, and included such characters as her ex-manager but also best friend Hermione, her slightly dysfunctional brother Josh, and her exasperated mother Sharon.

The real star, however, was grandma Norma Bingle, who sometimes left rude messages on Lara’s answering machine and got passive aggressive when Lara was late for bingo.

Despite not being able to remember the majority of my cousins’ names or my Apple ID password, I have the most vivid recollection of Lara Bingle’s complicated relationship with meat pies and omg same. 

Seven years on, and with the imminent launch of Roxy Jacenko‘s reality television show titled I am… Roxy!, it’s important we look back and reflect on the show that represented a Golden Era in Aussie television.

R.I.P. and may we never forget the show Channel 10 eventually axed and described as “not quite right for us“.

AHEM.

1. The time Lara committed a crime for the lols.

If Lara had a nemesis in her reality television show, it was definitely her driver’s license. Mostly because she didn’t have one. Which caused problems. Especially when she got pulled over and was asked to present her driver’s license.

Naughty Lara! Image via Channel 10.

You see, Lara was a little bit driving in a bus lane illegally (who hasn't!) and was stopped by plain clothes policemen.

When they checked her license, Lara began audibly praying which made her friend Hermione nervous.

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She decided to ask Lara if everything was okay, to which Lara replied, "I'm pretty sure I have a license."

Spoiler: Lara did not have a license.

She'd lost a bunch of points, and there was an outstanding parking fines etc., which seemed like the kind of thing she should have paid given she was driving a $200,000 car.

She took some time to reflect and concluded that all this mess was definitely the car's fault, and she shall be getting a new one.

Cool.

2. The nude photo incident. And Grandma Norma's response.

In a surprising turn of events, grandma Norma did not like it when Lara's nude photos were leaked and broadcast on her very favourite show, A Current Affair.

It was Hermione who broke the news about the photos, which had been taken by paparazzi zooming in on Lara's open bedroom windows, where she was hanging out in the nude.

Lara wasn't too fussed, instead remarking: "I didn't realise how voluptuous I was. Geez. I've really go an arse haven't I?"

But you know who was fussed?

Goddamn Grandma.

"Pop and I are just sitting her and watching A Current Affair… what's this about you posing nude on the front of your apartment there?

"I don't know what's got into your mind. You've just gone backwards, love. You'll never, ever do any bloody good!"

Watch grandma reprimand Lara Bingle for the explicit paparazzi images. Post continues below. 

Video by Channel 10

Oh. Grandma, pls.

3. Lara's complicated relationship with meat pies.

One of the real joys of Lara's life was tucking into a meat pie with grandma. And maybe some hot chips. Hehe.

But Lara COULDN'T eat unlimited meat pies because she was a model!! It was such a difficult choice! Arrrrgggh.

This was by far the most relatable part of the entire series because all anyone ever wants to do is eat pies and chips in obscene amounts but we can't because of a number of reasons including but not limited to: diabetes and our health generally.

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Poor Lara.

Mum Sharon, Hermione, Lara and Josh Bingle. Image Channel 10.

4. Lara got a colonoscopy and no one can remember why. 

It probably had something to do with the pie consumption, but Lara made Hermione come with her to get a colonoscopy and yes it was all filmed.

"My ass feels like it's on fire!" Lara said to her 700,000 viewers.

She also got Hermione to perform ear candling on her to remove excessive ear wax, and honestly this show was Australia's answer to Keeping up with the Kardashians but better.

5. When Josh Bingle and Hermione slept together and Lara didn't like it.

Look. I don't know what Lara was expecting. But moving in with your brother (single and in his 20s) and your best friend (single and in her 20s) was always going to end in weird sexy time.

The show tried to convey some forced flirtation between the two who had precisely no chemistry, and ended with them confessing their illicit sexual relationship to Lara.

Roxy Jacenko speaks to Mamamia about her brand new reality television show on The Spill. Post continues below. 

Lara was surprised because she was meant to be at the centre of their relationship and now they've gone off and had a highly uncontroversial sexual union without even asking her first.

***

Sadly, in April 2013, Channel Ten announced that both Being Lara Bingle and the similarly brilliant The Shire would not be renewed.

Television, I think we can all agree, has never quite been the same.

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