lifestyle

Instagram hashtags that make you feel crap about life.

We all know social media makes us feel bad about ourselves.

That’s not to say it doesn’t make us feel good too (racking up Facebook likes is a great way to bolster your sense of self-worth #justsayin), but there’s something about an infinite scroll of people doing things you’re not that can really leave you feeling inadequate.

Christ that sandwich is well-stacked, I’ll think as I look at a perfectly balanced BLT.

Or ugh, she is nailing those angles — why are my bloody ears so small?

Or where do you even find a mountain that’s upside-down on top of a stream of rainbows populated by ducks who speak Elfish? I guess I’ll spend my day off at the supermarket again… etc.

I’m sure for the most part people don’t mean to do it either.

I certainly wouldn’t begrudge someone for owning a particularly photogenic dachshund or taking pride in their amazing selfies.

But there are those prolific social media users (celebrities and jerks, mostly) whose hashtags are not so much humble-brags as straight up just brags, designed to make you feel a whole lot shittier about your day.

These are the hashtags I wish didn’t exist because they are basically just the social media equivalent of sticking your tongue out at someone and going ‘naa na na naa naa’.

1. #mylifeisyourholiday

I was only introduced to this hashtag today. It’s for people who live those idyllic lives as ski instructors or beach side yoga teachers. It’s so they can post a picture of their life as a ski instructor or beach side yoga teacher and make you feel bad about about your life as an oppressed office worker or mail room clerk.

Like this:

A photo posted by CharleySDG (@charleysdg) on

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  I think we can all agree this girl’s workplace needs a better OH&S policy.

2. #fromwhereyoudratherbe

This is very similar aesthetically to #mylifeisyourholiday, but less specific. It’s for when you unchain yourself from your desk and go to the beach and then post a smug picture of your legs against a rolling horizon. It’s used by jerks whose holidays look like Corona ads. 

A photo posted by Alana (@howdyrowdy) on

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I hate you.

3. #foodporn

Why do people think that other people want to see pictures of food they won’t be eating? No, I don’t want to be reminded that somewhere there exists a nutella-donut-milkshake-cronut I’m not going to be eating. Unless you are a food blogger keep it to yourself.

A photo posted by Alana Dimou (@alanadimou) on

  4. #nofilter

I don’t really know if this is to prove you are a better smartphone photographer, or that you look even better el naturale. Either way it’s bloody smug.

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I get it, you’re hotter than me. Uggghhhh — those cheekbones.

5. #gymlife/#gymselfie/anything #gym related

When people go to the gym and are like ‘oh god, I almost didn’t have enough #fitspiration to go to the #gym today but now I’m so glad I did because something about me being #skinny and #fit and #motivated and cooking #chicken for dinner #whathaveyouevendonetodaygod’.

A photo posted by Rebecca Judd (@becjudd) on

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“Do you even own leggings?” —  Bec Judd, probably.

6. #blessed

Let’s face it, #blessed is as close as you can come to #bragging. The word ‘blessed’ means to be consecrated by a divine being of some kind; smiled upon by God. Did God decide you deserved that avocado on toast? Did he give you that smartphone? Didn’t think so.

7. #squad

Friendship is the best. Female-friendship, especially so. But there is something very Mean Girls about hashtagging pictures of your friends #squad… Mostly, it says: “You’re not in it.”

A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

8. #cleanliving/#eatclean

The clean living phenomenon is just another not-so-subtle reminder that you probably didn’t do a good enough job today. What even is clean food? Unless you picked it up off the floor, your food is clean enough IMO.