I am a big fan of the Bachelor.
I don’t just watch every episode, I organise friends to come over so we can watch, laugh and make snarky remarks together.
I have my theories about who wins and who will be kept until the last second only to lose out spectacularly (*cough* Keira *cough*).
But if somebody approached me with the proof of who won, I’d send them packing.
I don’t want to know who won — that would ruin every future screening, every shock elimination and every future #teamOlena post.
So, I can't help but get worked up when contestants do press tours and end up spilling beans.
Northam real estate agent Nikki Gogan spoke to Access All Areas last week and made a slip of the tongue that got every other tongue wagging.
“When I first met him I was in his eyes immediately,” she said.
“And that’s something that continues... continued, continued.”
The mix-up of tense was immediately considered a sign that Gogan had made it beyond the preliminary rounds.
It could be shrugged off as a mere co-incidence but the spoilers didn't end there.
The 29-year-old went on to comment on their first kiss with a very explicit reference to future pashes shared.
“The first one was so good, I had to go back for more,” she said.
Mm. Cool. Happy for you.
But ffs. Keep it to yourself.
It may be a crumb of a much bigger pie but it's still a spoiler.
The magic of the show is not about watching Richie Strahan swan around on various expensive forms of transportation; it's about watching the drama unfold.
It's about convincing yourself that one girl was a strategic plant by producers only to see her evicted in the next round.
It's about throwing "healthy" snack alternatives at your television while listening to Keira saying something outrageous when you know she probably said something like: "I hate donuts, Megan."
Only for it to become: "I hate" *quick camera pan to cover clipping* "Megan."
~ Magic ~
Even Queen Keira fumbled in the post-show silence by keeping her Instagram account "public" and even going so far as to reply to comments from fans.
The account has now been made private but only after multiple news agencies harvested it for a first-hand look at the young woman's life.
Watch the first moments Nikki and Richie shared... Post continues...
Please stop taking press interviews and keep your accounts private.
The media are trained to make you make mistakes and I don't want to hear them.
Lots of love,
All of us.
Who do you think will win The Bachelor 2016?