We are 508 episodes deep into this season of The Bachelor, and currently we are sick of the following:
- People and their feelings
- Matty goddamn J
- Any and all modes of transport
Because we’re getting serious (this show is not serious) about Matty’s final decision, Channel 10 purchased a piece of technology they believe is called a ‘drone’.
This ‘drone’ is capturing Matty surfing at the beach while he does a very deep think about which of his girlfriends he would most like to keep.
As he looks into the distance, it is clear that Osher has given him one task and one task only.
Put together a pros and cons list for each girlfriend, and then entirely disregard that list for whoever gives your penis the most feelings. His list looks like this:
- Three-legged dog called Buster
- Nice hair and face
- Intensely in love with her
POST CONTINUES BELOW: Listen to the latest episode of Bach Chat.
- Hard to draw
- Says things like, "I'm literally blown away," despite being very much stationary