Last night, Michelle the rogue policewoman didn’t receive a rose (R.I.P), but she isn’t the one we should be feeling sorry for right now.
This show is about one person, and one person only.
You see, now Jen doesn’t trust anyone to talk
to at about her feelings. All the remaining women insist on sharing their thoughts/feelings/opinions, and to be honest, that’s not really what Jen is all about.
So as of tonight, she
mostly only speaks to the camera.
As Jen is processing the conventions of conversation, Tara asks, 'so who hasn't been on a single date?' which seems patronising and also... we all goddamn know.
Out of nowhere and WITHOUT WARNING Osher emerges, and everyone squeals. In his most self aware moment as a TV personality, Osher says, "Deep inside I pretend you’re happy to see me, but I know you want me for one thing". Oh sweetie... that got too real.
No one argues with him, and they snatch the date card out of his hand before asking him to leave.
Elise gets the single date and it's something to do with a double decker bus and FFS Matty you lived in London for like two months.
POST CONTINUES BELOW: Zara McDonald and Michelle Andrews debrief on the latest episode of The Bachelor.
As Elise boards the bus, Matty mentions he actually lived in London for four years, and honestly, we don't care if you lived in London up until yesterday - a double decker bus is super unnecessary.
He gives Elise a tour of the places that mean the most to him in Sydney, and we're struggling to cope with the inefficiency involved in transporting two human beings around the city in a f*cking double decker bus. It's... the environment... and the... traffic... but mostly... the size. We can't.
Matty stops the bus to jump out and get flowers, and we're sure it must have been a breeze to stop a GIGANTIC BUS outside a FLORIST in what appears to be BONDI.