Tonight is the night The Daily Mail ruined for us all weeks ago.
… Thanks… ?
Last year, Sportsbet had Osher as a potential winner. And they don’t this year. Which is disappointing and also hurtful.
But that’s how certain everyone is that Laura’s going to win this competition, and every time Matty says anything to another woman/man/object we start yelling YOU BE LYIN’ BOY, which is getting tiresome.
Anywho, everyone QUIET. It’s time to watch Matty break Elise’s heart. Shhh.
We begin with legitimately the exact same footage as last night, which is awkward because… we saw it already.
Ah shit everyone's talking about their feelings and we can't anymore because it's all so repetitive.
OH THEY'RE IN THAILAND PLS.
Osher is on a boat offering a) context and b) commentary which was largely missing from last night's episode, and honestly we didn't know who was who and what was what.
We are then provided with the one thing desperately missing from all of our lives: A montage of Laura saying how much she likes Matty J, followed by, a montage of Elise saying how much she likes Matty J.
Matty's family have flown over to another country to meet the two women he is dating simultaneously, which is the equivalent to us turning to the person we sit next to and saying: "Hey, you wanna grab a coffee? Let's go to Beirut."
NO THERE'S A COFFEE SHOP RIGHT OUTSIDE YOU DON'T HAVE TO GET ON A PLANE.