Baby brain exists – and 5 other things we didn’t need scientists to tell us.

New research about the sleepiness of new mothers will surprise everyone – except new mothers.

Breaking news! Researchers have discovered that half of mothers are “excessively sleepy” four months after giving birth, which affects their ability to function.

“We were surprised by the excessive amount of sleepiness new mums were still experiencing at week 18,” said Dr Ashleigh Filtness from the Queensland University of Technology’s Centre for Accident Research and Road Safety.

You were? We were surprised it was only half of mothers.

It got us thinking. What startling baby-related findings will researchers announce next?

Consumption of takeaway meals and junk food increases in households with newborn babies. Everyone tells you to cook ahead and freeze before the baby comes. Brilliant. That’ll see you through the entire first week. After that, fresh vegies decompose in your fridge as you shovel down your home-delivered pizza with one hand while jiggling your grizzly baby.

The frequency of sexual encounters between parents is reduced following the arrival of a baby. If you’re managing a quick fumble in the dark without one partner falling asleep halfway through, you’re a legend.

Increased levels of dust, dirt and human excrement have been detected in households with babies and very small children. Some days, all you can do is pull off your vomit-stained clothes and throw them in the washing machine. Some days, you can’t even do that.

The word “poo” or its equivalents are used more frequently in conversations involving parents than non-parents. You may become a little out-of-touch with world events, but you will end up having many long, detailed discussions about the contents of your child’s nappy.

Parents are more likely to rate their own baby as “highly attractive” than a stranger’s baby. Don’t tell us – you’ve got the cutest bub ever? Not being subjective or anything? Of course you have. Us too.

Got any other topics you think researchers need to look into?

Want more? Try this:

Why I’m happy my baby doesn’t sleep through the night.

9 things to never say to the parents of a newborn.