“He was literally acting like a starved animal that just got served Christmas dinner.”
By Tiffany McHugh for YourTango.
Bad sex comes in many forms. You can have it with a person you’ve just met, someone you’ve been holding out for, or even with someone you’ve been dating for a while. Sometimes bad sex happens when you least expect it, like following an amazing kissing sesh (buzzkill).
Instead of counting the orgasms that could have been, we’ve asked readers to share their not-so-satisfying bedroom tales, along with a lesson they’ve taken away from each.
April was out with friends at a beach bar when she met a guy that she clicked with right away.
“He was tan and cute, and had a little chest stubble, which I’m really into,” she said. “Long story short, I hadn’t slept with anyone in ages, and I decided that this guy would do.”
The two went back to his summerhouse and went at it… sort of.
“He couldn’t get it up… at all,” April said.
“I tried everything, and even after going down on him for a while with no results, I wasn’t ready to forfeit yet.”
Since it’s only fair, April encouraged her beach boy to go down on her, since nothing else seemed to be working, and she didn’t want to call the whole night a wash.
“Finally, I began to actually enjoy myself,” she said. “He was really good, and I was just getting into it when he suddenly stopped,” she continued.
“Beyond aggravated at this point, I sat up to ask what was wrong, and boy did I find out.”
April looked down to find Beach Boy’s face covered in blood.
“I freaked,” she said.
“All I could do was ask if I got my period, when he told me that he got a bloody nose! I must have gotten so into it that I accidentally head butted him with my pelvic bone.”
After blood was drawn, the two decided to finally call it quits and April took a cab back to where her friends were staying.
Your favourite search engine does not qualify as a stand-in gyno.
We’ve all had one… they make you look awkward in public, take sex off the menu and make life in general a whole lot uglier. No — we’re not referring to your old scrunchie collection, we’re talking about a yeast infection.
A couple of years ago, Lisa was newly dating a guy that she found herself really into, really quickly. “Things escalated between us almost instantly,” she said.