Image: When Harry Met Sally.
Don’t be fooled by their calm smiles and polite demeanor. Waiters and bartenders see and hear it all, and when it comes to Date Night you can guarantee they’ll be listening especially closely while they top up your glass.
If it makes you feel any better, there’s always someone out there who’s been on a worse date than you — and thanks to a recent Reddit thread, we can all live vicariously through the server who saw it unfold first-hand.
1. The failed proposal
“This couple comes in on Valentines Day. They get seated at the bar, order some drinks and are sitting there chatting and laughing… The guy drops to one knee and pulls out a ring. Girl immediately shuts him down. He didn’t so much as get a word out before she’s saying ‘Nope. Nope. Nope’. Grabs her coat off the back of her chair and is putting it on, still saying ‘Nope’ over and over. Practically RUNS out of the place, does not look back. He looks gutted. Pays the bill and walks out, staring at the floor the whole time.” — malackey
2. PDA central
"This couple comes into my restaurant and the guy is a complete tool. He won't let his girlfriend order what she wants and cuts her off saying 'She'll eat what I decides she'll eat'. It's really annoying because he'll just cut me off mid sentence and tell his girlfriend to stop talking. They also sit on the same side and suck each others faces the whole time. Last time I served them I was standing in front of their table with their food and they wouldn't stop making out so I had to ask them to come up for air so I could give them their fucking food." — jestemmyszka
Watch: Mamamia staff share what they'd say to the one who got away. (Post continues after video.)
3. The one that got awkward for everyone.
"A girl sits down at my table in the bar and is waiting for a her first Tinder date. They have a couple of drinks and she leaves. I think everything is normal, until the dude then hands me his card and says, 'You're prettier, call me' and proceeds to head into a meeting in the dining room. To make matters worse, she calls the restaurant 10 minutes later to ask me if he really had a meeting to go to or if he was blowing her off." — Fiorberry
4. Dinner with a side of divorce
"This guy takes his wife out just to outline to her the details of how he found out she'd been cheating on him. As he's telling her, his lawyer serves her with divorce papers and he leaves... I was pouring her wine when he dropped the bombshell, like he wanted me to be part of it, he wanted her to be humiliated in front of someone." — madwookiee (Post continues after gallery.)
5. The feeding frenzy
"A blind date between a man and a woman while I worked at a pizza place. The lady ordered a small pizza and a drink and the guy ordered a plate of fries and a root beer ... when he finished he ordered another plate, and then another and then another. This was not a place with free fry refills. I also refilled his root beer about twenty times. Every time I came back with a new root beer or another plate of fries the woman looked more and more uncomfortable. When all was said and done he ate five plates of fries and enough root beer to float a boat." — dawnshark