'At 41, I was told to prepare to die. A stranger saved my life.'

In 2010, when Jessica discovered she was expecting her first child with her husband, it felt as though "all the Christmases and the joy had come at once".

Right up until the birth, the pregnancy had been relatively complication-free. Jessica's baby daughter Meadow was born six weeks premature, which had caused a decent amount of stress, but apart from that it was a "fairly textbook" birth in Jessica's eyes.

What she didn't yet know was that giving birth to her child and the big hormonal changes associated with the pregnancy had triggered a life-threatening condition that had previously been lying dormant. It was something called autoimmune hepatitis.

12 weeks into being a new mum, it was quite the blur for Jessica - not much sleep, not eating and drinking regularly, adjusting to breastfeeding and overall feeling rundown. She put it down to being a new mum. And part of it was that. But another part came down to her body's immune system seriously struggling.

"On the day of my daughter's christening I went to hospital. I was seriously jaundiced (yellow skin), tired and had lost some weight. It wasn't the christening we had expected for Meadow. And it was the start of what would be a very different parenting journey than either my husband or I had imagined," Jessica said to Mamamia.

...

The last 12 years have been incredibly challenging for Jessica and her family - more than a decade marked by ill health, near-death episodes, and a massive amount of anxiety.

Soon after landing in a hospital bed on the day of her daughter's christening, Jessica was diagnosed with autoimmune hepatitis - a life-threatening condition where the body's immune system wrongly targets the liver. This over time leads to chronic inflammation and serious damage to the organ. And without a liver, a person cannot live. 

"When the doctors explained the condition to me, they likened it to your body setting itself on fire. At that time I knew there was something deeply wrong with my health. It was clear by the fact I was in intensive care and had a team of doctors looking after me, rather than just one," Jessica said. 

"They explained that it was a really rare condition that was triggered by childbirth. It was so overwhelming - not only for me, but my husband and family as well. We just didn't know what to think when we were told the news."

Jessica with Meadow when she was a baby, and Jessica during one of her stints in hospital. Image: Supplied.

For Jessica, her time spent seriously unwell has been an emotional roller coaster - a "messy grieving process" she calls it. Because she was left to grieve the family life she and her husband had dreamt of for so long. 

"We had worked hard, saved our money, were both in tip-top shape - we had done all the 'right' things and it was heartbreaking to see how quickly my health deteriorated. And that I couldn't be the parent I wanted to be for Meadow."

Jessica was on a bunch of medications to keep the autoimmune hepatitis at bay, to ensure a slower progression of the liver deterioration. For the first eight years of Meadow's life, Jessica wasn't in perfect health but managed to go along as best as she could.

By 2018, things had reached a head.

"I was on 14 different medications just to stay alive. My immune system was malfunctioning. And when you have an autoimmune condition, it makes you more susceptible to other health problems. The inflammation was throughout my body and my liver was no longer a lush, soft organ but had turned to stone."

The bad news kept coming. In that year, Jessica was then diagnosed with encephalitis - inflammation of the brain, which can severely impact a person's fine motor skills and ability to move and talk. 

"It started off slow - not being able to form full sentences or my husband would ask me a question and I would stare blankly at him. The infection then became worse," Jessica said.

Soon Jessica was choking on her food. Her speech was compromised and she couldn't get to bathroom herself or stand in the shower. On one particularly traumatic occasion, Jessica had an "episode at home" in the bathroom. Her husband had put her in the shower and quickly left to get some towels. In the space of less than a minute alone, Jessica had collapsed on the floor, smashing her head on the tiles. There was a lot of blood.

And recounting this, it's clear that it was a really harrowing moment for not only Jessica, but for her husband and Meadow as well.

"He went into autopilot, telling Meadow to grab some towels to stop the bleeding as she screamed 'Mummy is dead'. It was very upsetting. He saved my life on so many occasions. Both literally and emotionally."

For the next year or so, up until the start of COVID, Jessica's health wasn't good, but it was stable. But then it reached a critical point, where medical specialists told Jessica that her liver couldn't go on much longer, meaning she was on borrowed time.

Her two options were a transplant or death. 

"They were worried that I was deteriorating to the point where if a new liver did become available, that I wouldn't be able to survive the surgery and would die on the [operating] table. It's really, really, sh*t when someone says that to you. Daunting," Jessica said to Mamamia.

Watch: Sylvia Jeffreys on why we need opt-out organ donation. Post continues below.

In 2021, she was put on the waiting list for an organ donation. But amid COVID-19, the donor pool went from nearly 70 per cent to 10 per cent in terms of viable donor options.

"Imagine the fear associated with waiting 14 months to be told there is a liver available for you. During this time, I was feeling quite hopeless and depressed, constantly feeling like I was treading water. It's such a powerless position," Jessica said through tears.

While waiting for a donor, Jessica was left to ponder her mortality. 

"There really aren't many rules or advice that explain how to work towards the end of your life. I truly thought I wasn't going to make it - I wrote letters and recorded videos for Meadow - for when she would turn 18, her first love, her engagement, marriage, babies, the list goes on. I even recorded a makeup tutorial for her as well."

Then in February 2022, Jessica received the call that would change her life. They had found a viable donor liver and the transplant surgery would be going ahead. 

Now her daughter won't have to watch a pre-recorded video on those milestone days. Instead, she will have her mum by her side.

"Now it's been 10 months after the transplant and I have my life back. When you're in the darkness, you don't think that you're going to be 'normal' again. Now the parenting brain has come back into gear - thinking about uniform shops, what we're doing for dinner as a family and worrying if my daughter has put sunscreen on," Jessica said.

"Even in the lead up to Christmas, this will be our first festive event that I am healthy for. It's the little things like putting up the tree, baking, opening presents as a family - you don't realise how special they are until you can't do it anymore." 

For Christmas the best gift you can give anyone is the gift of life. 

Jessica says that it is sad to know that one family's worst day was one of the most life-affirming of hers. And it's devastating to know that in order for her to live, someone had to die. 

"Now I talk about organ donation as much as I can, in honour of that person who gave me their liver. Because of them I can see my daughter grow. It's not just life-changing for me either. It is also for my husband who's now not a single parent. For my daughter to have a mother. For my mum and dad to not have to bury their child. And for my twin sister not to have lost her twin. On so many levels, it is a gift."

Jessica and her mum, and her daughter Meadow. Image: Supplied.

In the lead up to the Christmas period, DonateLife Victoria is issuing a final call for everyone to register as an organ and tissue donor, giving hope to those currently waiting for an organ or tissue transplant.

"It is the season of giving and registering as an organ and tissue donor won't cost you a cent, yet it will give hope to so many people," Dr Rohit D'Costa, State Medical Director at DonateLife Victoria said in a statement.

 There are currently 1,800 Australians on the waiting list for an organ transplant, with a further 13,000 undergoing dialysis who could benefit from a kidney transplant. Everyone over the age of 16 can register as an organ and tissue donor regardless of their medical history, their lifestyle, or if they've had COVID-19.

For Jessica, she would love to see Australia merge from an opt-in organ and tissue donation scheme, to an opt-out model. But in the meantime, she wants everyone to know this - it takes only one minute to become an organ donor.

"It's such a simple process and will truly save lives. Something the government also needs to look into is the fact the family of someone who has died can overrule that person's decision if they have said yes to being an organ donor," she said.

Now at 42, Jessica looks forward to her future rather than fearing it.

She has loved regaining her strength. Spending time with family. Experiencing the everyday stresses of life. Because there is something to be said about having annoying, little problems rather than something overwhelmingly existential.

"Just recently I bought a bikini, despite the fact I have big scars that run from between my breasts down to my pubic bone. I figured I should be proud of my scars. And maybe they'll even spark a conversation with a stranger about organ donation and the need to always get check-ups with a health professional if you don't feel well. Because it could just save a life," Jessica said.

"My life was saved by the generosity of a stranger and I am forever grateful."

It only takes one minute to sign up at donatelife.gov.au or just three taps in your Medicare app.

If you find yourself needing to talk to someone after reading this story, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Feature Image: Supplied.

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