Just as there will always be people wanting to save the lives of their camp’s chickens, so too, there will always be at least one Survivor player that goes too hard, too fast with far too much confidence.
Which is where A.K, a 29-year-old wedding DJ and self-confessed Survivor super fan from Adelaide comes in.
“I’m here to play Survivor, I’m not here to make friends. I plan on making an alliance with every single person in my tribe and being their best friend,” A.K tells the camera before going on one of the swiftest and tactless charm offensives ever recorded.
First, A.K tells his Sangatu teammate Mark that he will continue to call him Mark because Survivor Mark looks like his uncle Mark and so that means they should probably be in an alliance together. Oh, God.
Then, while Tara was having a nice, quiet, Day 1 power vom in the bushes, A.K interrupts her mid-spew to check in on their alliance. Subtle.
Finally, not realising that LGBTQ people have interests and life experiences that span outside of their sexual orientation, A.K asks his fellow teammate Peter, "are you homosexual?" before sharing, "one of my best friends at home is gay, you know?"
The problem being, there aren't actually any gays in the village of A.K, he just thinks saying that there is will help him form an alliance.