Love, it’s a beautiful thing. There is such joy in seeing a couple – giddy with love for each other – come together to exchange wedding vows surrounded by friends and family.
Though we are widowed, we can appreciate love for what it is. We had that same love too. The kind that gives you butterflies when he walks into the room. Where you wonder how one person can truly know you – flaws and all – and still love you wholly and completely. Who makes you better by their mere existence.
We know our widowed status can make others uneasy. We get that our lives are a reminder that bad things happen to good people and that happily ever after can come long before you’re ready to say goodbye.
Listen: The Mamamia Out Loud hosts discuss the wedding trends that are over in 2017.
But we’d also like you to look beyond our widowhood when inviting us to weddings/functions. Before you point to wedding etiquette and Guest Rules 101, know that we understand weddings and private affairs are expensive. We know you’ve budgeted for a set number of people and may have very little wiggle room. We just think it’s insulting that everyone – even singles (in non-committed relationships) – is permitted to bring a guest and we are not.
“But you’re widowed!”
Yes, our spouse has died but does that banish us into “No +1” territory for the rest of our lives? This is especially hard when brides/hosts we consider close friends don’t give us the option of a date/guest simply because we’re widowed. If it’s an across the board rule, we can certainly understand and respect it. We do ask that if your big day is our very first wedding post-loss, that you please show a bit of compassion. You’d be surprised at how many hurt feelings can be eliminated with a simple telephone call.
Then there are times when we meet Miss Manner’s rule of thumb for having a +1 only to be told, “Well, your late spouse’s friends will be at the wedding and we’re just not sure if they are ready to see you with your new guy.”