pregnancy

Question: Is it ever OK to ask a woman outright if she's pregnant?

To ask, or not to ask. That is the question.

For so long, humanity pondered whether or not it’s appropriate to ask a woman if she’s got a bun in the oven. In fact, I’m 87 per cent certain the cavemen were wondering themselves as they made fire by rubbing rocks together.

But thousands of years later in 2017, it seems we still haven’t come up with a definitive answer, as proven by a post on motherhood online forum, Mumsnet.

Seeking advice from women who may have been there themselves, one user posted her conundrum.

“My cleaner caught me today as I was leaving – I’m normally out before she comes – and asked if I were pregnant. I had forgotten to put my Pregnacare vitamins in the cupboard and she’d seen,” she wrote.

“Now as it happens, I am [pregnant] – hence the vits – but it’s very early and we haven’t even told family yet.

“We have a good relationship generally but for some reason her question annoyed me. Not sure why exactly….. would it bother you to be asked like that?”

Is it ever an appropriate question to ask? (Image: Getty)
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As it happens, the mums of the internet were able to come up with a pretty clear answer, which was a resounding 'yes it bloody hell would'.

"It would bother me, because if I wanted to share I would," one user replied.

Another summed up my general concerns, adding "I would never ask anybody that. For fear of being wrong..."

"I would never ask a woman if she's pregnant, even if she was crowning in front of me. It's just not a wise thing to ask," another user said.

Articulating the very real emotional impact this question can have if misguided, another woman wrote, "I've been asked a few times recently and it really bothers me, we've been trying for nearly 2 years so it's bit of a kick in the teeth. Maybe I would feel differently if I was pregnant though."

LISTEN: This Glorious Mess have discovered the one thing you need if you want people on public transport to know you're pregnant (post continues after audio...)

While most advised it's best to err on the side of caution on the subject, a few admitted while they were pregnant they very much enjoyed being randomly asked.

"I take joy being asked, people don't ask anymore in public that don't know me as baby bump is obvious," one user said. "I even use to drop pregnancy symptom hints to see if anyone would say 'maybe you're pregnant?'."

Another agreed, adding "I wish more people would ask. I find telling people really awkward and would much rather answer a question than raise the subject myself."

Moral of the story - when thinking about asking a woman if she is pregnant, proceed at your own peril.

Would you ever ask a woman if she's pregnant? Or have you been asked? Would it bother you?

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