I vividly remember the moment I found out.
I’d come over late on a Friday night. He’d been out drinking. I was plagued by a really bad feeling.
Every time I’d had this sensation with former partners in the past, I’d been right. And every time they made me feel crazy, jealous and paranoid.
Luke* had always been flirtatious, and he was extremely charismatic. I learned over the course of our relationship that he’d cheated on girls in the past, but he assured me that was all behind him. He’d been young and immature.
He drank too much, not just on the weekend. Sometimes he’d forget things he said or did.
I knew that some of his friends cheated on their girlfriends – it seemed normal in their social circle. I didn’t like the way they spoke about girls or how quickly they seemed to come and go.
What the hell is monogamish? The Prude and the Pornstar discuss. Post continues below.
But I was with him because he was, well, extremely likable. He was funny and made me feel like I was the luckiest girl in the world – which, in hindsight, isn’t necessarily a good thing. I overlooked the red flags thinking that maybe I’d be able to fix them.
So there I was, lying in bed next to him. He smelled like someone who had been in a club for hours, a mixture of cigarette smoke, stale cologne and bourbon.
I reached over to his phone that was on the charger. As guilty as I felt, I just needed answers. And I knew he wasn’t going to give them to me.
I’d hazard a guess that there are few women (or men) who’ve gone through their partner’s phone and not found something incriminating. Once you’re at the point of looking, you already know what you’re going to find.
But to be honest, I didn’t find exactly what I was expecting.
I opened a conversation between him and three of his friends. I kept reading an acronym I’d never seen before: “Hey, up for a r&t this arvo?”