By ROSIE WATERLAND
As a born pessimist, I love the concept of anti-bucket lists. The idea of an entire list devoted to the things I will definitely never do gives me serious jollies. If you need to feel the instant satisfaction of successfully ticking off everything on a goal-oriented list I highly recommend you make one if these. I’ve thrown one together to help you get started.
Gosh it feels good to know I’ve already successfully not done any of these things today:
1) I will never go backpacking
I’ve always maintained that when I travel, it will be with luggage and not a backpack. The idea of hauling my dirty clothes around on my back, sleeping in something called a ‘hostel’ and wearing thongs in a (shudder) communal shower?
2) I will never run a marathon
I’ve hiked to beautiful places. I’ve been canyoning. Caving. I’ve gone diving in the Great Barrier Reef. I even climbed a mountain once. But the idea of running just to run… What’s with that? Not for me.
3) I will never listen to what food extremists say about food.
Kate Moss: “Nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels.”
Um… I can’t even count the amount of things that taste that good. So, so many.
Gwyneth Paltrow: “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”
Obviously Gwynnie has never had nachos from the back of a truck at the Easter Show.
Miranda Kerr: “For his birthday I made him a gluten-free cake, and I made my own icing so it was organic, and opposed to sugar I made it cream cheese and agave juice from a recipe I found”
4) I will never sit around a night-time camp fire at the beach with several of my good looking friends dressed in casual denims.