TELL ME: What the hell is going on at the White House?

At this point, it really does seem ridiculous to feel any kind of shock or confusion about the spectacle that is the Trump administration, but just when you think you’re getting comfortable and feeling truly numb inside, Anthony Scaramucci arrives at the White House.

“I’m not trying to suck my own c*ck,” the newly appointed White House Communications Director reassured the New Yorker‘s Nick Lizza during an on-the-record conversation on Thursday night. Well, that’s a relief.

“The Mooch showed up a week ago. This is going to get cleaned up very shortly, okay?” he continued. He is The Mooch, by the way, he’s talking about himself in the third person.

The "this" Scaramucci is referring to is the unprecedented amount of information being leaked by senior White House staff to the US press. Scaramucci was fuming over an anonymous source "leaking" to Lizza about an intimate dinner taking place at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, which included a number of current and former Fox News heavyweights, President Trump, the First Lady and the new Communications Director at the White House - AKA the Mooch.

Lizza believed the leak to be of interest to the public and tweeted about the dinner, but as he later pointed out to news anchor Wolf Blitzer, it wasn't interesting enough to write a news story on.

Scaramucci disagreed though and phoned Lizza to pose a series of threats, speak in a derogatory manner about his co-workers, swear and even vow to kill all government leakers. All these rantings, threats and unsubstantiated accusations were said to a journalist. On-the-record. In his first week as Communications Director. Cool head Mooch.

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"Reince [Priebus - Trump's Chief of Staff] is a f**king paranoid schizophrenic, a paranoiac," Scaramucci told Lizza before impersonating Priebus himself in a high voice. "'Let me leak the f**king thing and see if I can cock block these people the way I cock blocked Scaramucci for six months.'"

"Reince Priebus, if you want to leak something, he'll be asked to resign very shortly."

Of Trump's Chief Strategist, Steve Bannon, Scaramucci said, "I'm not Steve Bannon, I'm not trying to suck my own cock."

Good to know, Mooch. Good to know.

Then, trying to get Lizza to share the name of his source (basically the first unbreakable rule of journalism), Scaramucci tried to appeal to his patriotic side.

"You're an American citizen, this is a major catastrophe for the American country. So I'm asking you as an American patriot to give me a sense of who leaked it."

Unwilling to do so, Scaramucci then turned threatening, telling Lizza, "What I'm going to do is this, I will eliminate everyone in the comms team and we'll start over. I'm going to fire every one of them, and then you haven't protected anybody, so the entire place will be fired over the next two weeks."

He continued, "They'll all be fired by me. I fired one guy the other day. I have three to four people I'll fire tomorrow."

Finally, in one last ditch bid to have Lizza name his source, Scaramucci said, "What I want to do is, I want to f**king kill all the leakers and I want to get the President's agenda on track so we can succeed for the American people."

In case you were wondering if it's a sackable offence to be hold one of the highest positions in the US and speak in such a threatening manner, it's not. At least not in the Donald Trump-led world.

So for now, at least, it looks like the Mooch, and his colourful language is here to stay.