We’re providing you with this comprehensive list of insufferable office behaviour as a public service.
Because we know there are gentle souls out there, tormented by the loud chewers and the personal space invaders of this world.
We present this list without advice on how to behave next…
You could print it out and stick it to the office fridge (that’d make you a #14). You could do a dramatic reading of the whole post while other people are trying to get on with work (hello, #5). Or, you could continue to say nothing as you watch the office Fridge Idiot eat someone else’s sandwich
(sound like a #1).
Whatever man, we compiled the list of the most annoying work colleague habits. Do with it what you will.
1. The person who fundamentally misunderstands how a fridge works.
Know that big cold box in the kitchen? Yeah, it refrigerates stuff. It doesn’t keep your milk/yoghurt/sandwich mould-free forever. Throw shit out when it rots. Oh, and don’t eat other people’s food – you’re not a puppy.
2. The person who speaks so slowly you can almost see your life slipping by as they talk.
Go home, set an egg timer, and practice getting to the point within a humanly acceptable time period.
3. The person who consumes smelly canned goods in confined spaces without sufficient ventilation.
Guzzling canned tuna in a windowless cubicle should be illegal. Partake in this activity with the knowledge that everyone hates you.
4. The person who gets all up in your grill.
Give every other human in the office an arm-length radius of personal space at all times. Non-negotiable.
5. The person who sings loudly to music only they can hear through headphones.
Spontaneous Karaoke is only acceptable on allocated party time. Otherwise, shuddupayaface.