Junk mail into my house this week has been filled with all sorts of misguided gift suggestions in the lead up to Mother’s Day, which is Sunday, May 14.
I particularly lol’d at one that suggested getting mum a giant 78cm plush panda. Every mother I know is employed in a never-ending battle to get toys out of the house and reduce the child-related clutter. Adding something that big is just a cruel joke to play.
Watch: Bec Judd explains the “horrors” of fire crotch (post continues after video…)
Then there was the suggestion of a new fry pan. It was Jamie Oliver branded and he’s kind of cute, but no, no, no. Unless that frypan can make wine, coffee and chocolate without me doing a thing, I’m not interested.
Ditto to the garish jewellery and shiny new toasters. I don’t really want a “lady shaver” either… what are you trying to say? Actually, that ones probably a fair call (see request #4).
What does this mum want for Mother’s Day?
My list may look long, but I’ll be 37 weeks pregnant, I think I deserve all of it:
1. A good night’s sleep.
If someone can rig up a system that takes the pressure off my bladder so I can go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning I would be completely satisfied and the rest of the list is redundant. I’m sure those with a newborn or older baby/toddler/teenager who keeps them up at night feel the same way.
2. A full day where I don’t have to bend once to pick a single thing off the floor.
My family should take this seriously because I’m pretty sure one of these days I’m going to squat down to grab a freaking piece of Lego, lose my balance and never get up again. #TheStruggleisReal