Anyone who has experienced depression knows the feeling of absolute hopelessness that words can never adequately convey.
The world, at that moment, is not a good place.
I remember lying in bed and playing with all the possible tragedies that could be lurking just around the corner. Tomorrow, my parents could die. I might never land a job I enjoy. My friends could all find me a nuisance, and there’s no certainty that I will ever find someone who loves me.
The world owed me nothing, and it did unfair, cruel things to good people. I saw it every day.
When I first went to a psychologist, I looked at her and thought, “There’s an element of delusion to happiness.”
She could not convince me that bad things were not going to happen.
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In my mind, I was being a realist. Everyone else was a fantasist. A fool.
This week, I came across a quote by Albert Einstein, who so perfectly encapsulated the difference between a depressed mind and a ‘healthy’ mind.
To be clear, no 19-word quote will ‘cure’ depression. It certainly didn’t for me. But Einstein said there is one decision we make every day that determines whether or not we live a happy life.
“The most important decision we make,” Einstein said, “is whether we believe we live in a friendly or a hostile universe.”
When we are depressed, the universe is random and thus often belligerent. It’s unsympathetic. It’s cruel. And we are mere victims to it.
There are some people who go their whole lives holding this core belief, and they might not even be aware of it. They live as though they are victims to their circumstances. The world, to them, desperately wants to hurt them.