If you’re planning a trip with the kids over Christmas holidays, this is mandatory reading.
If you’ve ever tried flying long haul with small children, you’ll appreciate what a relaxing, enjoyable break it is.
Time to kick back, watch some movies and perhaps catch up on a few winks. Haha, yeah right.
And, if you’ve never taken your children on a flying bus for an extended period of time, what are you waiting for? What better way to find out the true hatred of a stranger.
Here are some tips for preparing yourself for airplane travel with kids.
1. Buy a bag of potatoes.
In the lead up to your trip, purchase a bag of potatoes weighing anywhere between 15-25 kilograms. Carry it with you at all times. You’ll soon manage to balance it on one hip to complete your errands.
Don’t bother trying to use a pram to cart around your spuds, because a lot of airlines won’t allow you to utilise one in the terminal after check-in. The aim here is to be prepared.
2. Leave the potatoes on your lap whenever you sit down.
When ever you are seated, be sure to leave the potatoes awkwardly on your lap. For extra authenticity strap them to yourself using a lap sash belt. This will get you used to not being able to feel your legs.
Try and enjoy the pins and needles that may travel down your feet. That's how you know you're doing it right.
Now is probably a good time to mention that your
potatoes child will probably spend the entire duration of the flight on your lap. You've just paid a full fare for your bag to have a nice seat.
3. Add an octopus to your potato balancing.
Once you've mastered the art of carrying round your potatoes, you can add a small-medium sized octopus to it. This allows you to fully appreciate the ease in which a wriggly baby can be handled during the flight.