mamamia out-loud

This helpful study just confirmed the age at which women morph into a non-fashionable lump.

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Thanks to our brand partner, Truvée Wines

Another day, another extremely scientific poll from the extremely scientific research committee on fashion and women’s age.

British website have just conducted The Most Important Survey Of The Year.  Two-thousand bright-sparks were interviewed to find out at what age women should… just give up. The results are in.

Women cannot:

Take a selfie after 34,
Wear skinny jeans after 47,
Watch reality TV after 41.

Listen to Mia Freedman, Monique Bowley and Jessie Stephens have some feels about the poll, on Mamamia Out Loud. Post continues after audio….

The ‘definitive’ list of commandments…

  • Thou shalt not selfie after 34
A warrant has been put out for Kim K's immediate arrest. via Getty Images.
  • Thou shalt not go clubbing after 44. Music festivals, however, are permitted until the ripe old age of 45.
  • Thou shalt not possess long hair after 46. (I don't know what this means. What is 'long' hair. Will it be measured?)
  • Thou shalt not wear skinny jeans after 47.
  • Thou shalt not tattoo after 38. (Any pre-existing tattoos must be removed on the 38th birthday.)
Notorious badass Helen Mirren. It's rumoured the Actor's Guild considered stripping Mirren of her Oscar when they found her in breach of tattoo regulations. Image via Getty.
  • Thou shalt not watch reality TV after 41. (If they insist...)
  • Thou shalt not ATTEMPT to understand new technology after 40. (Because obvs you can't see things/hear anymore)
  • Thou shalt delete your Facebook profile at 49. (In preparation for your death.)

Ok. Some issues...

Two thousand people is not enough people to warrant a 'study'. It's a high school survey at best. If I interview four people who all happen to like coriander... I CANNOT conclude 100% of the population like coriander.

Secondly, what was the average age of the people being surveyed? Was it maybe 14? Or nine?

Kim K must have missed the memo altogether, because at 35 she still owns the selfie.

English actor and general kicker of arse Helen Mirren rocks a tattoos better than we could ever hope to at the age of 71.

F***. Tha. System. via Getty.

Walking corpse Julie Anne Moore, 56, breaks ALL the rules. And someone tell Nicole Kidman too, because these two skinny-jean wearing fun-loving long-haired actress are complete #goals.

via Getty Images.

I think the message is clear...

We need to go out and do absolutely everything the study says not to.

Approaching 50? Keep the long hair. You look bloody great.

Early 40s? Don't give up on technology. You'll get there.

Nearly at the dreaded 38? Don't you dare get rid of that tattoo. In fact, get more. Get all the tattoos. Get one of those full multi-coloured sleeves that covers your whole arm.

You just do you. Regardless of those backward-thinking British boffins and their silly polls.

Mia, Monz and Jessie talk Fifty Shades, fashion rules and pregnancy envy on this week's episode of Mamamia Out Loud. Listen to the full episode, here: