
Dear daughter,
I share photos of us on social media and I wonder what people think. I imagine them saying to one another, “Why does she always have a dummy in her mouth – is she not a happy baby?”
“Wow! She’s still giving her daughter a dummy – isn’t she old enough to go without one now?”
And I’ve actually had people say to me, “It’s time you started taking those dummies away from her.”
It doesn’t help that the packaging of your favourite brand of dummies states: ‘For ages up to 18 months’. You are 20 months.

"I don’t care if a baby ‘should’ be weaned off the dummy by 18 months." Marina and her daughter. Image source: Supplied.
But you know what I decided soon after you were born? I don’t care what people think. Sure, sometimes I idly wonder (I’m a thinker, I can’t help it), but deep down I don’t care.
I don’t care if a baby ‘should’ be weaned off the dummy by 18 months. I don’t care if it’s another ‘habit’ I’ll have to ‘break’ or that I’m creating ‘more work’ for myself in the ‘long run’.
I don’t care what assumptions people make about your mood. I don’t care that there are kids out there who never used a dummy to begin with, or that there are 5-year-olds still being pacified by plastic.
You are not ‘a’ baby; you are MY baby. And no one is going to tell me when you’re ready to be weaned off the dummy. Actually, there is one person who will tell me when it’s time. You. You may or may not get to an age where you can speak it, but I will know.
I’ll know by the confidence you display in social situations and at bedtime. I will know by the way you tolerate and communicate pain. I will figure these things out, and act on them, because I am your mother – and that is my job.

Top Comments
'Actually, there is one person who will tell me when it's time. You.'
Let's hope you can understand her....
Obviously it's anecdotal, but I had a dummy till about 4 and have never had problems with teeth or speech or anything. In fact I spoke very early and very well. I find it hard to believe I'm the only one.
My son had a dummy until he was 5. I let him decide when he was ready and he did!
I used to laugh when people said things
The fact is it doesn't cause problems with teeth and he has perfect teeth
I used to say don't worry he won't still have it when he's 21 so what's the big deal! He loves it and why would a parent take something away from a child when they are so attached to it. Just the beginning of social conditioning and judgemental mentality!