"I'm against co-sleeping and don't really care what you think."

Parenting rarely works out as planned.

Everyone has an opinion. Especially in the parenting world.

I get it. For some reason, when you become a parent, comments start coming your way (or you start throwing them in someone else’s direction) so fiercely that it completely consumes you.

Whether you want to admit it or not, we are all guilty of it. No matter how many times we say we will stop, there’s no escaping the word-vomit of parental opinions.

Co-sleeping is one of those hot-button issues, and, just like breastfeeding, most parents typically sway one way or the other with vigor.

When my son was born, I was living with my parents. We were a young military couple who got married when I was six months pregnant (I know, I know…), and our apartment off-base wasn’t going to be ready until our sweet one was about five weeks old.

So my new husband took advantage of his three-week paternity leave and stayed with us during those beginning weeks of new parenthood. We imagined they would be oh-so-sweet — until we met our precious baby boy and discovered he hated his bassinet.

Watch the Mamamia team confess when they felt like bad parents. Post continues after video.

We’ve all been there, right? Parenting rarely works out as planned.

So we figured out a workable solution: The babe slept soundly in his baby swing, and we slept in the bed.

It was when my husband returned to base and we were separated for two weeks that I learned and formed my opinion of co-sleeping.

Baby Branden would stir in the wee hours of the night and my tired new mom arms would bring him into bed with me, since there was no one lying next to me. He slept soundly — and I lay awake in fear that I would crush him during the night.

From then on, we had a very strict “no baby in the bed” policy with us or whenever anyone watched him — it was a big no-no in our lives.


I know that there are products everywhere that eliminate any fear that you will roll over on your baby: All of the co-sleeping parents I know try to educate me about them every chance they get.

"From then on, we had a very strict 'no baby in the bed' policy". Image via iStock. 

But I’m not buying it.

In short, this is what worked for us. And while co-sleeping might be/have been a magical bonding experience for you and your baby, we just aren’t having it.

And you know what? That’s okay.

We quickly learned that keeping our kids out of the bed allowed us to put our relationship first and keep the bond between us strong.

Without our relationship staying intact, our whole family would crumble, so keeping this foundation strong is #1 to us.

I get it, you have had a different experience. But I don’t really care anymore. There is no use in pushing your opinions on me and, quite frankly, when I sense that you are, I get defensive from the get-go.

Don’t mess with a mama bear and what she knows is right for her family.

You do you, I’ll do me, and we will all live much happier lives. Capiche?

This story by Allison Cooper originally appeared on Ravishly, a feminist news+culture website.

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