'Dear Person I Love, I promise to do these things more ...'


Debrief Daily are calling it. We want to publicly acknowledge that life can be so crazy, chaotic and crammed that we often forget to show our partners we care. But we plan to change …

When relationships become negotiated operations of time and tasks, we can neglect the little things in life and love.

A few of us are finding the longer a relationship lasts, the less we do to nurture it. It’s called ‘taking each other for granted’ and while there’s a glory in that, we don’t want to lose the wonder in wordless acts of love.

We often talk about the lovely things our partners do for us but it’s time to flip this love bird and talk about how we show them we care. Because we really, really do.

Here are some of our suggestions … gathered from the hopeless romantics at Mamamia and the slightly more cynical, hardened lovers at Debrief Daily 

Watch the video below for the ultimate act of kindness in Love Actually. Post continues after video.


1. Fill the fridge with different kinds of craft beer

We’ve all heard the joke about a bloke wanting the front door to be opened by a naked babe with a box of beer. But knowing the neighbours probably don’t want to see that – EVER – and that it’s winter, we figure having something chilled and interesting in the fridge is just as good. Even if we are in our slippers.

2. Hide Lindor chocolate balls in his underwear drawer 
It’s a lovely thought. He goes to get a hankerchief or boxer shorts and will grab a sweet, round treat. One Debrief Daily lady hides the chocs in his rolled up socks (best to check they are clean first). To take this to a loving extrem,  or as an anniversary present, you could even sort his socks.  We know. True love.

And you thought you’d be reading a sex post by now!

Needs chocolate

3. Organise a time and an event so he can see his friends
Buy them tickets to a band he likes (DO NOT make jokes about old man dancing), or a pass for a  whiskey tasting afternoon, gold class tickets to Fast and Furious, a day on a boat.  Extra points if it's something you would like as well.

4. Mushy banana love
A newly wed writes that she sometimes carves secret messages on his lunch banana in the morning, which show up/develop during the day as the banana ripens. Gorgeous - but keep the message clean. Especially if the banana will sit in an office for others to see


Here's how you do it:

5. Iron his shirts
This one is a giant act of love. It shows care, consideration and kindness and is waaay beyond the call of many of us.  But waverers, know this: you can do it in front of a Netflix series.  One of the Debrief Daily team is so bad at ironing she's noticed her partner redoing the shirts when she's not looking, but he appreciates her attempts.

(Note: One of us here at Debrief Daily won't budge on this one as she is a member of the National Anti-Ironing Federation. She wears a lot of uncrushable cotton and polyester.)

6. Let him choose the gelato flavours you don't like
That's love. Especially if your lover likes rum and raisin.  Or beef and prawn cracker. (This is a real flavour as well as a revolting thought.)

We know these are getting far too hetero normative, so the rest are good for same sex couples.

7. Music is the food of love 

Put some new music on their iPod or in the CD player of their car - or make a playlists if you have a moment. Throw in some lyrics with meaning or a golden oldie you both once loved and gave each other on cassette tape. Try Meatloaf's You Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth.  

8. Put an interesting book next to their side of the bed

... Maybe even one you won't want to steal and read first!!!! A non-fiction. Or Anais Nin (that could spice things up a bit for you both).

9. Set a time limit with your family

One Debrief Daily contributor says "I agreed to a three day maximum when staying with my parents. Seriously, my parents are like fish - after three days they go off.  So if I want to stay longer we go to a hotel or he flies home and I don't nag him about it."

Harsh but fair. Very fair.

10. Put the towel in the drier while your lover is in the shower

Then wrap them up with warm toasty goodness when they emerge.  And don't mention the water all over the floor.  We know this love act is not great for the environment but these are not daily acts just random acts of kindness.

We await your suggestions ....

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