“Wait – so he didn’t give your mum access to her own money at all?”
We refused to look at each other, our eyes fixed on the ceiling, arms so close the hairs were touching.
It was so late it was early again.
“Yeah. He said Mum didn’t know anything about money.”
Silence clung to the air while my mind whirred from one flashing sign to the next. Like the ‘joint bank account’ mum was never given the password to. Or how Dad sold the house against Mum’s wishes. Or the investments he made without so much as a consultation text. Or the rationing of money to get her through the school lunches and weekly petrol run. Just.
For 15 years my mother – intelligent and wonderful in equal parts – worked full-time in a well paying corporate job.
For 15 years she earned more than my father.
And for 15 years she never saw where her money was going.
Despite her healthy pay cheques, she exclusively clothed herself in op-shop jeans and my aunty’s hand-me-down jumpers.
Top Comments
This hits pretty close to home for me.
My dad took control of our family's finances and was pretty hopeless at it. He never told my mum that he stopped paying home insurance- we found out when our house was broken into, he stuffed up their tax returns, he managed to get a mortgage on our house without mum's signature, and continuously told mum not to worry her pretty little head or teach us kids about money.
When she finally left, he cried poor and managed to hide his superannuation pay-out, lied about income and employment, and paid next to no child support.
At the same time, Mum learnt a new term she had never heard before, Sexually Transmitted Debt, the STD you never really hear about that comes with many divorces.
You have just pretty much described what happened to a couple of girlfriends of mine, they still get the occasional "well at least he never hit you" line from people. Yeah their husbands didn't hit them but they are essentially ruined but they still get up every day, are beyond amazing mums ( really they are the most amazing mums) and they never complain. They should complain though, people need to know the truth.