The weirdest royal wedding EVER.

I’ve never been that interested in Prince Albert of Monaco. Not until a few days ago when on the eve of his wedding to former South African Olympic swimmer Charlene Witstock, the bride-to-be tried to do the Harry Holt and escape from the tiny country. She reportedly bolted to the airport and tried to buy a one-way ticket back to South Africa.

The reason? She’d apparently just learned that her fiance had fathered yet another child. He already had two ‘illegitimate’ children (yuck, hate that term but it has relevance when you’re talking about royalty because there are massive implications for the monarchy) and now another woman is allegedly pregnant by his, er, hand. Or something.

Sheesh, I’d head for the airport too. But in a scene straight out of some warped fairy tale, Charlene was stopped at the airport by the police who confiscated her passport and allegedly talked her out of flying home to South Africa. She was delivered back to the palace and then as rumours began to circulate internationally about what had happened, Prince Albert and his reluctant bride took a ‘spontaneous’ tour of Monaco, stopping at half a dozen different locations to be photographed. Together. All happy like. Except not.

 

News Ltd reports:

South African-born Charlene Wittstock, who is two decades younger than her husband, even “took refuge” in her country’s embassy before she was persuaded to walk down the aisle.

The couple’s glamorous and staggeringly expensive wedding attracted thousands of well-wishers to Monaco at the weekend. The guest list included dozens of royals, heads of state, fashion and sports stars and even James Bond.

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But whether the bride wanted to be there is another question entirely.

A couple of days later at the wedding…..well, have you seen the photos and the coverage? It looked more like a hostage situation than a wedding.

Suddenly, the Monaco royals got a whole lot more newsworthy again…..I haven’t been this interested since Princess Stephanie dated Rob Lowe.

Methinks we’re going to be seeing hearing and reading a whole lot more about Prince Albert and Princess Charlene and yes, I couldn’t be more pleased about the fact the world now has a Princess Charlene. That, my friends, is sensational.

Could there be a greater contrast than the images coming out of Canada of William and Kate? How HAPPY do they look? How in sync? How…..together?

It’s so old-school vs modern. There is Prince Albert and Charlene and they could have been Charles and Di. He’s older, aloof, holds the cards. She looks terrified, powerless, haunted. He’s clearly got some * cough * issues with monogamy. She’s under massive pressure to produce a male heir. And spare. It’s all so…….sad. And such deja vu.

Next to them, William and Kate tick every modern box. They have learned a lot from the previous generation. They dated for a long time. Slept together (presumably). Lived together. Broke up. Fooled around with other people (presumably). Realised they wanted to be together. For better or worse. And at that alter – and ever since – they have looked completely equal. Beautifully matched. Confident and energised in that way you are when you’re with someone who lifts you up.
Princess Charlene? Not so much. She’s not looking very lifted. She’s looking a lot like Schapelle Corby when she received her life sentence. Only less animated. I wonder what her future holds?

Would you have run? Why do you think she stayed?

Check out the wedding gallery below…..

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