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Season's Greetings: Here are 10 politically correct and entirely inoffensive Christmas carols.

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I got a card in the mail from my local MP.

It said “HAPPY FESTIVE SEASON” which is a lovely inclusive, politically correct way of sending a Christmas card without — heaven forbid — mentioning Christmas.

Religious holidays have become an etiquette minefield. Instead of simply noting that for some people Christmas is a religiously significant day and for others it isn’t, we have erased the Christian-bits from Christmas entirely.

The kiddies can no longer sing Away In A Manger at the end of school concert. We don’t hang angels on our trees. The decorations on our street poles are all bells and bows, no stars or shepherds. Shopping centres are forgoing nativity scenes in favour of Frosty the Snowman (has nobody noticed that it is 40 degrees outside, so Frosty is likely to meet a sad melted demise in Australia?)

As I see it? We have two choices ahead of us. Forget the politically correct and let Christmas be religious for those who want it to be and for those who don’t? Well, they can just enjoy the holiday-part and be spectators for the rest.

OR….

We can go the whole Christmas Pudding. We can dial up our political correctness meter from the extreme to the insane.

We can be ALL INCLUSIVE. ZERO CHRISTMAS.

The first step would be to rename our Christmas Carols to be non-denominational and culturally sensitive.

I propose the following:

  1. Deck The Halls With Boughs of Sustainably Grown Native Foliage

  2. The Little Drummer Person

  3. Do You Hear What I Hear? There is a Braille Version if not.

  4. I’ll be Home At Some Point In December

  5. Frosty the Snow Person

  6. I Saw Mummy Being Platonically Friendly Towards an Unidentified Person in a Red Suit

  7. Non-denominational Wellbeing Gurus We Have Heard on High.

  8. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot like the Festive Season.

  9. Jolly Mature Man In A Red Suit Called Nicholas

  10. We wish you a Merry and Safe Holiday Season

LET’S NOT STOP AT JUST A CARD, GUYS. LET’S REMOVE ALL the religious, spiritual, and traditional elements from Christmas it.

Because stuff multiculturalism, religion, learning about traditions or being curious about what some Australians believe in. Yuck. Let’s just get to the presents. THE PRESENTS.

Thank you.

— —

This week on the Mamamia Out Loud podcast; should we stop washing out the deeper meaning of Christmas?

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