To the Other Woman,
It has been a few months since your affair with my husband ended.
Your affair has destroyed an entire family.
My daughter has completely disowned her father because of what he did with you, and will no longer talk with either of us.
My son has lost all respect for his father as a result of your affair.
My health has been permanently tainted from the viral STDs that you so freely shared with my husband during your moments of stolen passion, and which he, in turn, shared with me.
These things are irreplaceable.
LISTEN: I think my partner might be cheating…
You, on the other hand, hide behind your lies and silence, while your former lover – the man with whom you are still hoping to spend the rest of your life – has effectively lost his, because he chose to tell the truth.
Your choice to remain silent when his world is falling apart speaks volumes of your character. Even now, your silence ensures that you are able to remain securely ensconced in your marriage. The marriage that you claimed was a farce. Keeping your family intact, while mine falls apart.
Do I blame you for what happened, and not blame my husband for his choice to be unfaithful?
No; a million times, no.
There are no words for the exquisite agony felt by the betrayed lover. No description that can accurately portray the soul-wrenching grief that crashes into you, dragging you under and scraping you raw, only to mercilessly allow you to surface for a brief, excruciating moment to catch your breath, and in that breath, again start to feel the keen torment of betrayal.
My husband knows that he is the cause, the instigator, and the perpetrator of my anguish. Although his knowledge has come all-too-late, he has chosen to be courageous enough to be the focus of the ongoing outpouring of my pain while I continue to fight to heal.
This is going on while you continue to hide from any culpability.
That fact, more than anything, marks the difference between us.
I could go on about how I would never knowingly do what you have done, especially now that I know what it is like to be on the unwittingly receptive end of the destruction and devastation wrought by adultery. I could emphatically declare that I never, ever, in a million years, would do to another human being what you have done.
Those statements are true.
However, I think that the biggest difference between you and me is strength. For I have realised through all of this anguish and heartbreak that I am so much stronger than I had ever realised.
While you have stolen something that was not yours to take, I have stayed true when I did not have to.
While you have cowardly hidden from any responsibility, I have faced the stark and cutting truths of my relationship with my husband that led to his choice to have an affair with you.