By ROSIE WATERLAND
Break-ups are the worst.
Could I have put that more eloquently? Probably.
If you’ve ever been dumped though, you really don’t need much more than that to get where I’m coming from. They are THE WORST.
But, you do come out the other side of them eventually, and with a whole bunch of valuable life lessons to boot. Lessons that will help you navigate your way through the murky waters of heartache and shame the next time around. And because I’m a selfless writer who wants nothing more than to share those lessons with others (and I had a whole bunch of GIFs I really wanted to use), here is a list of the 9 stages of a break-up. In GIF form.
Stage 1: The Event (Or: WTF JUST HAPPENED?)
Even if a little part of you maybe saw it coming, a break-up is still planned by the other party to knock you off balance. This allows them to run away while you’re still sitting in a cloud of shocked confusion:
You may manage a weak one of these…
But there’s just no stopping this runaway train, my friend.
Stage 2: Begging/Bargaining
This is where the dust settles and you realise you’ve just been dumped on you arse. You’ve had time to plan your counter-move, which usually involves a wave of texts in the form of song lyrics and love affirmations. You also apologise for every bad thing that’s ever happened, including the Ebola virus and Celebrity Splash. You send messages like this:
And get responses like this:
To which you reply with this: