I was a yarn crafter before it was cool. I know everyone says that, but I really mean it. I gave crocheted baby blankets to my friends when crocheted baby blankets were worthy of a collective eye-roll. You know what I’m talking about. That time in 1985 when your grandma gave you a bulky knit sweater for Christmas (maybe with reindeer on it), and you cried, from humiliation. Surprise! That same sweater can now be found on eBay — for $189 plus shipping. Everything your gramma loved is now the stuff you can only hope to thrift.
I don’t know how it happened, but it happened, and knitting (and crocheting too) is now not only acceptable, but AWESOME. Knit a washcloth? Crafter status: Novice. Knit your own sweater? Crafter Status: Queen.
The stages of becoming a Dedicated Knitter are nuanced and may not be easily deciphered by the new-to-knitting novice. But before you know it you’ve gone from craft envy to craft overlord.
1. Feigned interest. Your friends are knitting and it seems ok. Like, you know, something for bored people who have no life to engage in while the rest of the world throws lavish parties and sees recently released films and stays up-to-date on popular cable shows like Game of Thrones.
Knitters don’t even have Netflix. Netflix is for people living in this century. But your friends are doing it and you are a contentious person, with a relatively good grasp on Instagram etiquette. As such, you regularly offer comments of congratulations without being too effervescent. You don’t want your enthusiasm to be mistaken for interest.
2. Actual interest. You don’t want to love it, but you do. Every Instagram photo is only shoving you further down the hole — #knitting #crochet #knittah4life #yarnporn — oh the things you can make! Visions of scarves dance your head. With reckless abandon you shall make SOCKS!. Sweaters. Hats. Blankets. OH MY. Tread carefully. Actual interest must be nuanced. You can’t let on that you’re too interested, stay cool.