lifestyle

The 8 Facebook profile pictures you should never post.

We’ve all done it. I have. You have.

Posted an annoying Facebook profile pic that has all of our “Friends” rolling their eyes. Without even knowing it.

Until now.

So, what are the 8 kinds of Facebook profile-pic personas that bore all your Friends to death? Here’s my list, and yes, I’m on it.

1. The Chameleon. 

Every day it’s a different pic. I love you for your enthusiasm. You’re just mixing it up and making life exciting for us all. After all, there’s at least one new selfie worth sharing every day, right? But we need to just calm this sea down. I can’t keep up. Exhale. And step away from the Facebook. Leave it. No more changing. I can’t keep up with the high rotation of photos. The rule: change it a couple of times a year. No more, no less.

2. The Cause

That’s super-duper that you’ve decided to get behind a wonderful cause and change your profile picture to a colour like purple, blue or pink. This is people-power at its peak, right? Wrong. I don’t get it. So, here’s an idea: change your profile pic to words that are literally about your cause. Like, “I support breast cancer awareness” or “Fish scales shouldn’t be used in eyeshadow” or “I only eat food that’s fallen from a tree planted in soil with a pH level of 8” because a colour or a sign just makes me think you’re an ad. And… Unfollow.

But what does it mean?

3. The Throwback 

How good were the ol’ days? The 90’s? Your highschool years? That time your spent travelling in the 2000s? The toddler years? We were all cute. All of us. Looking back on old photos fills us all with warm fuzzies. Share, Share, Share. But don’t make it the main game. I love seeing photos of you at Seaworld in 1992 but it doesn’t mean you need to live out the memory with every post, every day. Leave the past in the past, people.

4. The Pet. 

Your friends don’t like your animals as much as you do. Fact.

5. The Kid. 

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I get it. This little human represents your proudest  moment. So, why wouldn’t you make them your profile pic? Once, I did the same thing. Most parents do. Because for a time, a parent is literally defined by their child. You are your child. Your child is you. You’re one. Literally. They are hanging off your shoulder/breast/leg/head at every moment. But once it’s over – rejoice in being you again. Because your friends are. We look forward to seeing you flying solo in your profile pic when the time is right. Even if it doesn’t happen for 20 years – we’re still cheering you on. Waiting. And cheering.

I’m not saying this isn’t cute. I’m just saying I don’t know who you are when I look at your profile and all babies sort of look the same.

6. The Passive User. 

Gah! This is pretty much every person I know. These users are like the kids who never played marco-polo in the pool but were always happy to swim around the edge or watch from the fence. They like the game, they like the people but they don’t really have the energy or the enthusiasm to PARTICIPATE. This is me. (Except I loved playing marco-polo, but you get what I mean). I haven’t changed my profile picture in five years. FIVE. YEARS. In fact, when I mentioned this post to a friend, she said, “and what about YOUR profile pic? It’s crap.” And it is. It’s black and white. Boring. From my wedding day. Beautiful but it doesn’t fully and truly represent me. It represents a union. Which brings me to…

7. The Couple.

Be you. Just you. Be brave. I know how much you don’t want to do it. Two reasons: that person and that moment probably represents a really happy moment of your life. And/or – this is you looking your best and someone else just happens to be in the photo. Break away. Go solo.

It doesn’t always have to be the two of you.

8. The Traveller.  

Hey Smug One, yeah, you. You know who you are because now that you’re back at work and tapping away at your keyboard, you too are wistfully looking at your profile pic – wishing you were there. Big waves, sunsets, lush beach huts, posh hotels. Welcome back to the real world. Pocket the memory. For our sake. And yours.

If this is you, you need to stop.

 What does your profile picture say about you?

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