Everybody’s talking about Netflix’s new erotic film 365 DNI, or 365 Days.
In case you missed it, the Polish drama tells the story of Don Massimo Torricelli, a Sicilian mafia boss who falls for a girl he sees on a beach, called Laura Biel. So far so cliche, but then he decides to (and this is where it gets problematic), kidnap her and give her 365 days to fall in love with him.
It’s 50 Shades of Grey, but darker. And more controversial, thanks to its more blatant themes of sexual manipulation and stockholm syndrome, which has many who might not be familiar with erotic plotlines horrified.
So, let's talk about fantasy and reality and boundaries. Voyeurism, rough sex and BDSM fantasies can be healthy as long as boundaries are really clear. All partners must enthusiastically consent to being part of the fantasy and any acts you're doing.
Watch: How to have better sex. Post continues below.
Here's how to ensure that happens.
Step one: In a safe, no-pressure environment - where you both have your clothes on and you're in a neutral space - talk about what you'd like to do.
Ensure you can answer honestly and talk about what you do and don't want to do. Discuss any previous experience you have with BDSM - is it your partner's first time? What are their likes and dislikes? Some of the most extreme masochists don't like their nipples being gently squeezed while others will hang weights off them.
Step two: Ensure everyone knows that at any time consent can be withdrawn.
Check in regularly - are you still enjoying this? Are you OK? Look at body language. If someone doesn't answer, stop - ensure everything is OK.