Who are my favourite kind of people? Little people. Toddlers who, in all their finite understanding of the world, keep things simple. Bring the basics back the foray.
So imagine my quiet delight when I realised a three-year-old boy had taken over the internet on Reddit through an Ask Me Anything thread. Giving answers to his dad, 27-year-old Matthew Clark from Texas – who would then type them onto the platform – little Caleb solved so many little problems of our world, with the unflinching honesty of a steadfast toddler.
After all, he is a bit of a know-it-all, his dad told the Huffington Post.
“I can ask him what 2+2 is and if he says 10, I can’t convince him otherwise,” Clark told the news outlet.
These were just a few of his brilliant answers.
Caleb had quite a lot of insight when it came to the deepest, most profound questions about our world.
For example, when asked about his opinion on America’s current political climate, he said they were “superheroes and super bad guys”. Which just about sums it up.
Other notable responses?
Where do you see yourself in five years? Four. (Did he just say he believed in time travel?)
What’s the meaning of life? You are. (The ultimate comeback.)
What does the speed of light mean to you? It’s fast. (Technically, he’s not wrong.)
Where were you before you were born? Nothing. (Deep.)
What’s the most complex thing you know? An idea. (Same, by the way.)
How does the sun work? It take [sic] a nap. (Sure, I guess that works.)
The downright silly
Because three-year-olds aren’t always about logic and reason. Notable mention goes out to the fact when asked what’s behind his eyes, Simon believes “a spider” lives there.
What are your thoughts on naps? Grapes. (That… doesn’t make sense.)
Favourite kind of pizza? A good pizza. I love the good pizzas. (Obviously.)
When I drink grape juice and then I pee, where does the purple colour go? In my mouth. (Delightful.)
The totally understandable
And then, of course, the totally understandable answers.
What would you do if you could do anything? Get some juice. (Me too.)
What do you want to do when you grow up? Big. (He is only human.)
Who’s the coolest person in the universe? Me. I am. (Having a bit of early confidence goes a long way.)
Why do people have toes? Because they do. (What kind of question is that?)
My favourite thing about little people is that they are so beautifully sassy when they want to be. Even at the expense of themselves.
A perfect example:
What’s your favourite joke? Nothing I said.
Or my favourite answer of the day:
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? I don’t care.
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Too much noise and not enough time?