Do you speak in hashtags? Does your phone sleep with you like a teddy? Is your life ruled by the sweet, sweet alert noise of notifications?
You may be a social media addict, my friend. Take this quiz to find out just how serious your condition is.
If you agree with:
Less than 10 – You’re safe. For now.
Betweeen 10 and 20 – You’re on you’re way to being a social media addict.
Anything over 20 – I’m surprised you even finished this list without getting distracted by a notification.
Agree with Question 25 – I’m surprised you even have an internet connection.
Here we go:
1. You sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to check your notifications.
2. Your favourite thing about waking up in the morning is checking your notifications.
3. You’re secretly really disappointed if there aren’t as many as you were hoping, especially if you posted something funny right before bed.
4. You have a morning system of what platforms need to be checked and in what order.
5. Your phone sleeps with you like a teddy. Or in place of a partner. Or in a threesome with you and your partner.
6. You speak in verbs that are nonsensical to 95 per cent of the population: “I need to FB that.” “Ping me.” “Gram it.” “Facey that pic for me.” “I tweeted at the wrong hashtag!” “Hashtagging now.” “OMG Snapchat that.” “Why did she bitstrip me with that shape head?”
7. #YouSpeakInHashtagsNow #sorrynotsorry
8. You can easily spend hours lost down the Facebook rabbit-hole learning everything there is to know about a person that you haven’t seen in 10 years.
9. You know your Klout score.
10. You know what Klout is.
11. You are filled with unimaginable joy when your Instagram likes turn into a number.
12. Your house is an official check-in location.