Do you speak in hashtags? Does your phone sleep with you like a teddy? Is your life ruled by the sweet, sweet alert noise of notifications?
You may be a social media addict, my friend. Take this quiz to find out just how serious your condition is.
If you agree with:
Less than 10 – You’re safe. For now.
Betweeen 10 and 20 – You’re on you’re way to being a social media addict.
Anything over 20 – I’m surprised you even finished this list without getting distracted by a notification.
Agree with Question 25 – I’m surprised you even have an internet connection.
Here we go:
1. You sometimes wake up in the middle of the night to check your notifications.
2. Your favourite thing about waking up in the morning is checking your notifications.
3. You’re secretly really disappointed if there aren’t as many as you were hoping, especially if you posted something funny right before bed.
4. You have a morning system of what platforms need to be checked and in what order.
5. Your phone sleeps with you like a teddy. Or in place of a partner. Or in a threesome with you and your partner.
6. You speak in verbs that are nonsensical to 95 per cent of the population: “I need to FB that.” “Ping me.” “Gram it.” “Facey that pic for me.” “I tweeted at the wrong hashtag!” “Hashtagging now.” “OMG Snapchat that.” “Why did she bitstrip me with that shape head?”
7. #YouSpeakInHashtagsNow #sorrynotsorry
8. You can easily spend hours lost down the Facebook rabbit-hole learning everything there is to know about a person that you haven’t seen in 10 years.
9. You know your Klout score.
10. You know what Klout is.
11. You are filled with unimaginable joy when your Instagram likes turn into a number.
12. Your house is an official check-in location.
13. You love going to the toilet because it means you get some uninterrrupted time to check twitter.
14. It’s not unheard of for you to log on to Pinterest, only to emerge from your house 15 hours later desperate for water and sunlight (but with some really great wedding invitation ideas).
15. You get really annoyed when someone does a #ThrowBackThursday on a day other than Thursday. THERE’S A SOCIAL ORDER, PEOPLE.
16. You haven’t called a company in years – you tweet at them and wait for a response.
17. If the response isn’t adequate, you’re convinced you have the power to bring down entire corporations with a single tweet and hashtag: “NEVER shopping at @(insertstorehere) again. #badcustomerservice”
Take THAT, company.
18. You don’t officially decide if you are interested in being friends with someone new until you go back at least six months through all their SM feeds.
19. Nothing fills you with more terror than accidently ‘liking’ someone’s post from two years ago.
20. Nothing makes you think someone is a loser as much as them liking one of your posts from two years ago.
21. You would rather be naked in public than not have adequate wi-fi/internet connection.
22. You notice immediately when the number of followers drops on any of your platforms.
23. You say BRB, ICYMI and SMH IRL.
24. You know what that meant.
25. You understand nothing on this list.
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