I once ate five McDonalds cheeseburgers in one sitting.
Admittedly, I was on the tail end of a big night out, and I was hungry. Also, after a trillion vodkas, McDonalds cheeseburgers are next-level delicious.
But it was, by far, my greediest food moment. I felt so disgusting the next day that I took myself on a four-hour bike ride to work off all the calories from the cheeseburgers (approximately 1410, if you’re wondering).
I’ve always been pretty ashamed about this incident. And until last week, I hadn’t told anyone about it, fearing that they would judge me for my poor and greedy food choices.
But then I found this epic Reddit thread, where hundreds and hundreds of people were discussing their greediest and most shameful food moments.
Apparently everyone’s got a moment that meets my five-cheeseburgers-in-a-row slip-up. And there’s something very carhartic about sharing those moments – who knew?
Here are my favourite confessions from the Reddit thread:
“I once ordered a 20 piece McNugget from McDonald’s, and realised there were actually only 19 nuggets. I was in a pissy mood already, so I went back and made a big deal out of it, and they gave me a whole new 20 piece, leaving me with 39 total nuggets, all of which I ate in one sitting.”
“I ate half of a cake once when I should have only one piece. I was horrified and didn’t want anyone to know, so I finished the cake, baked a whole new one, forced myself to eat the one allowed piece… Then I barfed in the middle of dinner.”
“I told my wife I was going to the gym, but somehow I ended up going to Mcdonald’s instead. I ate my cheeseburgers in a parking lot, and waited a little while until it seemed long enough for a workout. When I got home, I poured water on my head and shirt to look like I had been sweating. “
“I ate two pans of brownies in less than an hour. I didn’t even realise that I’d eaten that much until I saw the two empty pans.”
The best thing about admitting to your greediest food moment? It makes life real again.
We are constantly guilted about ‘bad’ food (seemingly everything these days) and encouraged to eat ‘good’ food (kale). Green smoothies, superfoods and the ‘clean eating’ phenomenon are pushed down our throats.
It’s exhausting and unrealistic and it just means that no one ever admits to the fact that humans are fallible. And this is something we really need to start acknowledging – before we beat ourselves up about it too much.
Sometimes, we make truly terrible food choices. And instead of feeling forever ashamed about it, we need to admit it, laugh at ourselves and then move on.
With that in mind, I asked some friends and some colleagues to tell me about their greediest, most shameful food moments.
Here’s what they told me:
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What’s your guiltiest, greediest food confession? Come on, you know you want to share.