8 things I'm not allowed to say to my child

My 9-year-old son Philip sat me down for a serious talk this week. There are certain mummy moments he would prefer not to be subjected to. I was quite shocked. You mean yelling out reminders from the car at school drop off isn't a good idea?

He took me through the past two weeks of offenses. Apparently I yelled out the following instructions from the car and it's NOT ON. "Stop it Mum, seriously."

I yelled out:


"I love you"

"Don't forget to put your lunch order in"

"Don't forget to go to choir"

"Find Matthew"

"Fill up your water bottle"

"I put money in your wallet for ice cream"

"Hand in the money for the raffle tickets"

"Hand in the note for the choir performance"

Hmm, when he says it all at once it does sound a bit too much. But how else can I get him to remember things? I asked him this very question. "I don't know mum but when you do this it embarrasses me!"


The conversation continued. It seems school drop off isn't the only issue. So together Philip and I have complied a list of the 8 things mums are NOT allowed to say to their children. Philip can teach us all how to talk to our child. We hope it helps you.

1. Never shout out instructions from the car at school drop off. “Don’t forget to put in your lunch order, beep beep...”.

2. Never call him ‘sweetie’ in public, especially at school or anywhere his friends might be.

3. Never kiss him at the shops while telling him how cute/good looking he is. Ruffling his hair is okay but do it silently.

4. Never ask him to keep an eye on his brother while at family events or anywhere else. “That’s your job mum”.

5. Stop telling me vegetables are good for me. “I KNOW already”.

6. Don't ask me how my day was at school. The answer is always the same. "Boring."

7. Don't tell me to wash my penis and 'bum bum' while I'm in the shower. "I'm not 4."

8. Don't call me for dinner ten times. Just once. I heard you the first time. "Sometimes I need to finish what I'm doing."

Do you have something that should be on this list?