It was 3 PM on a Friday when the question suddenly came to me: “What the f**k am I doing here?”
I was standing in the middle of a career expo for future urban planners and property developers. At the time, I was studying geography and urban planning at university and was nearing the end of my final year.
And it was at that moment I realised: I didn’t want any of this. I didn’t know what I wanted but it definitely wasn’t this.
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Back home that evening, I was feeling scared and confused about my future. I confided in my parents. They both agreed that the geography life wasn’t for me but were very adamant that I should still complete my degree since I was so close to the finish line. They suggested I use that time to think about what I wanted to do after I graduated.
I knew I liked the digital space. One of my friends suggested that I do a short course in digital marketing after I finished uni. Too eager to wait, I signed up to do an evening class while I was still completing my final year.
The course was brilliant. There were so many avenues of the digital space that I wanted to explore. During the course, I made a LinkedIn profile, writing that I was “interested in social media". A few days later I was contacted by Mamamia asking if I would interview for a Social Media Assistant position.
I got the job! I couldn’t believe it. The only issue now was that I was still enrolled at uni full-time. Oh, and a part-time digital marketing course to complete. Now on top of that, I had a full-time job.
Here’s what most of my weekdays looked like:
6 AM: Wake up and start a uni assignment that was due at 11 PM that same day
7 AM: Leave for work
7:30 AM: Continue writing uni assignment on the train
8.30 AM - 6 PM: Work
6:30 PM: Arrive at my digital marketing class early to complete homework
8:30 PM: Stay back after class to finish my uni assignment
10 PM: Submit assignment, catch the train home.
11:45 PM: Go to bed.
REPEAT.
Here's a visual depiction of what I felt like during that time. Image: supplied.
If you’re thinking, “so when did you actually go to uni tutorials/lectures?” the answer is I didn’t. I finished my last semester of uni without attending a single class. It was hard, really hard. But I did it.
I’ve been working at Mamamia for almost three years now but it feels like three months. Everything moves so fast here. I started out as a Social Media Assistant, posting memes to our Instagram account. Now I’m an Audience Development Executive, heading our EDM and SEO strategy.
I’m also a podcast host, a writer, and - my favourite of all - I’m the resident Lonely Girl. So, what is a Lonely Girl, you ask?
A Lonely Girl is someone who’s figuring out their life. I know what you’re thinking, and yes, you’re correct. You are a Lonely Girl. We all are or we all have been or we all are going to be at some point in our lives. It’s when you’re just confused about everything. Your family, your friends, your love life (or lack of), your career and even your home. It’s a time when you make most of your life mistakes but also most of your life successes. It’s a time most people don’t even realise they’re in until it’s passed. It’s the best time of your life.
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Working at Mamamia and talking to women every day made me realise that there wasn’t a space for women like myself - the 20-something-year-old single girl who has too many hilarious/depressing/wild/beautiful/embarrassing dating stories to count. The girl who struggles with the intersectionality of her western and Indian cultures, who documents her struggles with vaginismus, who tries to reinvent herself every month only to realise that isn’t who I am (and lol - that was embarrassing).
And the thing is, there are so many women in Australia who are exactly like me. We have all just been wandering around thinking we’re alone, trying to prove to others that we’re passionate, hardworking yes-sayers, before we even ask ourselves “is this what I really want?”.
The Lonely Girls Guide is a best friend for anyone who is/has/will be going down this path of confusion in their 20s and just wants a little reminder that they’re not in this alone. If this sounds like you, come join me on my email list here. And it’s not just for those of us in our 20s. Listen to Mia, Holly and Jessie discuss my favourite part of The Lonely Girls Guide, the Unpopular Opinion of the Month in a brilliant Daily Drop episode.
Feature image: @emilyvernem - Instagram.
