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Hometown visits are nothing like you see on The Bachelor.

This week we come to one of the most important season milestones in The Bachelor.

You guys, it’s the home visits. Essentially, it’s time for Richie to meet the families of his many girlfriends, and make some snap judgements about which ones he can deal with and which ones he most definitely cannot.

But before we meet the obscenely perfect relatives of Richie’s girlfriends, can we just be straight up for a moment?

Well, they're all obviously going to have perfect families. Image via Channel 10.

Having your partner meet your family for the first time is often absolute hell. It's significantly more hell-ish than they ever show on The Bachelor. The house isn't clean, your parents aren't very interested, your dog is stressed and confused, there's one relative that goes rogue and makes you certain you're adopted, and there's always, ALWAYS, someone who's not wearing pants.

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When my partner first met my family, my intellectually disabled cousin Simon happened to be over. Now, I love my cousin Simon. He is legitimately one of my best friends. But when you're introducing him to the guy you really like and are currently trying to impress - he can be a little intense.

My sister and I taking Simon to see the musical Dirty Dancing. Yes, it was excellent. Image supplied.

So, picture this. I've invited my boyfriend over to properly meet my parents. When he arrives, Simon is waiting for him at the door (obviously).

Simon wants to know the following information: who are you, why are you here, what time did you start work, what time did you finish work, what do you do for work, what is your mums name, what does she do, where do you live, SIMON SERIOUSLY LET HIM INSIDE.

My cousin, who I love so dearly, then continues to fart all night. Farting is an incredibly taboo topic in the early stages of a relationship - even when it's someone else doing it. But luckily, my partner gets Simon's (and my) sense of humour, and thinks farts are hilarious.

Does Richie think farts are funny? WE'LL NEVER KNOW. Image via Channel 10.
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But the humiliation didn't stop that evening.

Whenever my partner would visit my house, dad would be wearing no pants for no clear reason, my siblings would be fighting, someone would be going to the toilet with the door open, and one time, a neighbour tried to steal our car WHILE WE WERE THERE.

...Seriously? Image via Giphy.
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Speaking to a colleague about the often humiliating experience of introducing your partner to your family, I discovered even greater stories.

The first time her partner met her family, it was her brother's wedding. Her mother got drunk and sung 'Firework' by Katy Perry while crying AND fist pumping. I mean, the imagery. It's just brilliant.

COZ BBY YOU'RE A FIREWORK. Image via Giphy.
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Other relatives continued to call her new boyfriend by her ex-boyfriend's name. Because that's what family are for, right?

The last seven years of my relationship have been painted with embarrassing family moments. There's the untimely family fights, the humiliating stories from my adolescence, the moment mum brings out the photos from primary school...

Sometimes it's like they're actively TRYING to sabotage your chances of ever having someone love you.

Need a bit of true love in your life? The Mamamia Book Club were smitten with this modern-day re-telling of Pride and Prejudice. Post continues below. 

But here's the thing: If someone can meet my weird, pantless, fighting, farting family and come back again, I know they must be a pretty non-judgemental, down to earth person. Unfortunately for Richie, he'll miss out on all that craziness, and the closeness that comes with it.