'I'm Offspring's biggest fan and even I know it needs to die a quiet death.'

This… this is hard to write.

I can’t… but also I can… and I will.

We need to talk about Offspring, the Aussie TV show that just won’t die.

At this point it’s like the shark in every movie of the Jaws franchise – just when you think it’s finally dead, it pops back out the water and takes another victim.

And the victim in this scenario is us and our rapidly dying love for the show.

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With every mediocre season the show delivers, we lose a little bit of the love we originally had for it, and we forget what a bloody fantastic series Offspring was during its best years.

It gave us Nina and Patrick, one of the best love stories of all time (Sorry Romeo and Juliet, Harry and Sally etc).

It proved to us, and the rest of the world, that Australia could produce a gritty yet hilarious family drama.

It brought together some of the best actors in the biz – Asher Keddie, Kat Stewart, Lachy Hulme, Deborah Mailman and Matthew Le Nevez, just to name a few.

It introduced us to Nina’s personal style – which we all tried, and failed, to emulate for a good few years.

And finally, that crazy TV family taught us to appreciate our own crazy non-TV families just a little bit more.

But now Offspring has jumped the goddamn shark (I know, there’s a lot of sharks in this story, but stick with me) and it’s undoing all its hard work.

Every season less and less of its original cast members return and yet another love interest is introduced for Nina and, quite frankly, it’s exhausting.

There was moment at the end of season five when Offspring could have ended on a high. That final episode was perfect. Everyone’s storylines were wrapped up neatly – Nina had finally moved on from Patrick, everyone was so bloody happy.

It could have gone out at the right time like other Australian shows like Love My Way and Please Like Me, did so well. But it didn’t. We didn’t let it.

We got greedy, Australia. We demanded more Offspring-y goodness and we’ve paid the ultimate price for it.

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Now we’re mindlessly watching a show that we’re not even that into anymore. It’s like we’re still dating a guy that we stopped being attracted to three years ago.

We’re clinging on, terrified of a world without Offspring in it.

But we have to let it go – for the sake of Nina, our fond memories, sharks, and amazing knee high boots – we have to let it go.

It’s time.

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