PARENTING CONFESSION: 'My husband’s 'dad bod' just doesn’t do it for me.'

It’s 10pm, the children are finally asleep and my husband gives me that look across the couch. Clearly, he’s in the mood for some action. Groan.

I run through my options in my head.

Do I fake a headache, pretend I don’t notice his attempt at initiating and go read my book, or give in and hope it’s over quickly?

See, the truth is his dad bod just isn’t doing it for me these days. 

I know, I know. What about unconditional love and all that? Well, there’s only so far that can get you when you’re being pounded by a 100kg big hunk o' love.

When I first met my husband, damn was he hot! He was tall, with broad shoulders and a fit physique. He took pride in his appearance and would go to the gym regularly. 

When child number one arrived, he continued looking after himself. By child number three, it was all over. Nowadays, his beer gut is expanding.

Sometimes I look around at the other parents, and it seems to be a common theme. 

A lot of my girlfriends have worked hard to stay in shape, while their husbands have taken Elsa’s advice and ‘let it go’, big time. So, why is that? 

Do women just feel more pressure to look a certain way? It certainly doesn’t help when you see these celebrities who have lost all their baby weight six weeks after giving birth. Or maybe we’re just more proactive about taking care of our health.

I decide to check out what the science says about dad bods. A Northwestern Medicine study, published in the American Journal of Men’s Health, tracked the weight of more than 10,000 men from adolescence to young adulthood.

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It found the ‘fatherhood effect’ resulted in average weight gain of 3.3 to 4.4 pounds. Meanwhile, men who didn’t have children lost weight during the same period.

The lead author suggested one of the reasons for the fathers’ weight gain may be a change in eating habits – with more cookies and treats in the house once children enter the picture.

Sure, I can totally appreciate the temptation, but why is it that I deprive myself to look a certain way for my husband, while he finishes a block of chocolate in one sitting?

The author also suggested new dads may not have time to take care of themselves in terms of exercise. Shucks, I feel their pain, which is why I wake up at 6am to go for a run before the children are up and before I start my full-time job, while my husband snores away merrily. 

Let’s face it – where there’s a will, there’s a way. Buy some dumbbells and train at home. Do some push-ups while you binge some mindless crap on Netflix. Better yet, take the older kids for a run and give me a break.

Perhaps I’m in the minority. A 2021 survey conducted by Dating.com found that 75 per cent of the 2000 respondents said they preferred the soft and round male body type to a more toned one. Only 15 per cent  liked a ‘Barbie or Ken-like body’. 

Seriously? Call me superficial but give me a chiselled Ken over the Michelin Man any day.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and I still find him attractive. But if he wants to supercharge my libido, perhaps he should try saying no to a few muffins or go for a run occasionally. It might just help fire up my loins when he next shoots me the look.

Feature Image: Canva.