rogue

The 25 things that happen when a dog stops living with you.

In the same way you start to notice the little things of an ex after a break-up, you start to notice the little things of a past dog.

The unexpected smells may have gone, white shirts may actually stay white but there is something missing that no amount of pats in the street can fill.

Here is a rough list of the 25 things that happen when you no longer have a dog around.

1 . Dropping food on the floor now requires you to… pick it up.

2. Coming home is no longer met with the excited fanfare of an A-list celebrity.

3. You start getting a bit too excited around other people’s dogs.

4. You start noticing people with dogs are avoiding you.

5. You realise what happened to all those weird people who approached your dog in the past.

6. You can leave food on low SURFACES and nothing will happen!

7. You leave a muffin out one night and eat it in the morning.

8. You remember cockroaches exist two bites in and dry hack the rest into the sink.

Little bit for me? Little bit for doggo?

9. Nobody wants to watch you eat anymore. You start to feel uninteresting.

10. You go to take a bit of eye crust out of a friend's eye with a tissue and they get weird about it.

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11. You feel a pang of shame.

12. Sex no longer has a third party who just watches in silence.

13. All farts now belong to you. Every fart.

14. Your bank balance is up!

15. Your happiness is down.

By now you will have realised I am using the same dog for every photo. Yes. It is my dog. I have 571947 photos of him.

16. You no longer have somebody to pose doing silly things.

17. You start posing doing silly things but nobody on your Instagram cares and so you delete the posts.

18. You start to feel shitty.

19. You start considering a cat before remembering what they're like.

20. You start missing that weird woman at the dog park.

21. You offer to pet sit dogs that don't belong to you.

22. You start taking this new dog for more walks than you ever took your own.

23. You return the dog and give it a goodbye hug that's so long everyone feels uncomfortable.

24. You go home to a quiet house.

25. You start to plan for another dog.

Love dogs? Listen to the story of the woman who became the hero to many of Bali's lost dogs.