The first thing I will say is I do not have kids. So, if you have kids and you read this you may hate me a bit and I'm sorry in advance. The second thing is that I am three months pregnant, so I am noticing how people parent a lot right now. The third thing I want to say is I hope none of my friends who do have kids read this because I'm going to lay some shit on the table and it's probably going to hurt some feelings.
Here we go…
I travel to my badass best friend's house to meet her six-month old baby for the first time and when I get there I realise that everything has changed.
My friend used to smoke like a chimney and drink like a fish and hawl on blunts like she was bloody Rita Marley. Now, she is just anxious and lame.
"We are teaching him his ABC's" she tells me. "He is a very bright baby. Alamar, focus on the cards." She snaps her fingers in front of his drooling face. "Alamar, A is for…focus Al! He's not so quick right now because he ate a bit of dairy this morning…"
Alamar falls asleep in his bumby chair or whatever they are called.
She then worries aloud for the rest of the evening if the air conditioning is too cold.
If so, should she peek in on him? And finally when the baby monitor squeaked a few times with him rolling over in his sleep she rushed downstairs, grateful to have a reason to check on him.
I understand that the love you feel for your child is more immense than I can fathom.