My six-year-old son told me last week that some kid at school said, “You have the worst dad in the world because he is in a wheelchair.”
Almost hysterical, he was taking great gasping breaths as he told me.
My son, for the first time, was exposed to the preconceptions surrounding disabled people. And it fractured my heart a little.
In his mind “Dada is stronger than the Hulk”, and he couldn’t understand why someone would say his Dad was anything less than totally awesome.
A little boy saying something mean to my son, allowed me to explain how some people, unfortunately, think negatively about the disabled.
“But why Mama, why do people think those things?”
Good question baby.
The kid actually articulated what a lot of adults also seem to think – disabled people are incapable of looking after themselves, let alone their children.
Disabled people not only have their own autonomy and competence, but also, their parenting capability questioned more frequently than able-bodied people.
“Is he okay to look after the kids?” a woman once asked me right in front of my husband – the children’s father!
When managing his daughter’s epic toddler tantrum, an old lady tried to lift her from his arms, assuming she was more proficient at settling a screaming child than a guy in a wheelchair.
Others have asked me “Is that safe?” motioning to my son sitting on Kev’s lap as he wheels along the footpath.
Top Comments
The beginning of another generation thinking that it's ok to discriminate based upon disability. I would be talking to the child's parents and turn this into an educational experience for him. Behaviour and attitude are generally learned from their role models. For those interested, abc2 aired a documentary called "the ugly face of disability hate crime" that talked a lot about these perceptions and disability based hate crime. The sad fact is that this is the beginning of that kid potentially growing up to be someone who thinks it's ok to discriminate and even commit hate crimes.
I think that's a bit of a stretch. Id talk to the school as there is obviously a bit of education needs to be done around people with disabilities
That goes without saying about talking to the school. Any sort of discrimination is not ok and usually a learned behaviour. And maybe, just maybe, the parents will learn something too
I understand that the author feels defensive and wants to educate people about disabilities but calling a child a brat is too low. He's a child! He's still learning about the world and all the different people who live in it. You cannot expect a child of that age to understand the complexities of being disabled and to be able to rationalise everything that they experience at that age. The anger and frustration would be better directed towards adults who should know better but instead of anger it should be education. Tolerance and understanding needs to work both ways.