Ep 1. Show Us Your Secret (Lady) Garden

We hope you packed your moist towelettes, this is going to be a dirty season. There’s putrid dresses and even more putrid cat-fights.

Yes, The Bachelor is back and it has brought with it some flame-throwing, ribbon twirling, grass-cutting women willing to fight to the death for Matty’s dangly bits. Who will get a rose? Who will Matty show his secret garden to? Who will get drunk and confess to a crime?

We’ve already got ourselves a Georgia Love lookalike, an Insta-stalker and TWO mean girl villains to rival Regina George. Game on moles.