'I carried the Afghan flag at the Olympics as the Taliban took over my homeland.'

Walking into the stadium at the 2021 Tokyo Olympics carrying your country’s national flag is an experience that’s hard to put in words.

Under normal circumstances, being the flag bearer is a great privilege – and it was one that filled me with pride for myself and my country. But for me, these feelings were competing with one persistent thought: would I be the first and last woman to perform this honour and role for my country?

In August 2021, the Taliban’s takeover of Afghanistan was in its final days – a time that overlapped with my participation at the Tokyo Olympics. As an Olympian and Afghan athlete, I was proud to represent my country, but I felt conflicting emotions about the huge change taking place in my homeland as the Taliban resumed control.

The Taliban's takeover raised grave concerns for our country's female athletes. With Sharia law being enforced, many women risk losing the freedoms we have gained over the past two decades.

I remember standing in the stadium, saying a little prayer under my breath, "God, may you keep the dear people, the strong women and girls of my country, safe."

I’m originally from the Kandahar province in the south of Afghanistan, but as a young girl, it forced my family to leave our country when the Taliban first came to power in 1996.

We lived in exile in Iran, where I was identified by Afghanistan's government as part of a talent search looking for female athletes ahead of the Rio Olympics in 2016.

Before returning to Afghanistan, I had mixed feelings about a homeland that I had never really gotten to know. I’d been so young when we left and, speaking to other people, all I heard about were the many wars and conflicts that had taken place in Afghanistan over the past 50 years. 

But my homecoming changed my view and enabled me to take great pride in my country. It showed me that Afghanistan is a melting pot for a vast array of cultures. My homeland has much to offer the world as the meeting point of four major cultural areas. Afghanistan has been at the crossroads of major civilisations, and that is reflected in everything from our rich, diverse cuisine to the fact that our country is home to the world’s first oil painting, drawn in caves in the central highlands.

I was only 16 when I was identified in the Olympic talent search, and I had almost no experience as an athlete. I'd only taken part in a few small competitions, and at that point, all I wanted for my future was to study at university and one day become a doctor. 

But with more exposure to sports, it opened my mind to a new passion. As a first-time Olympian at the 2016 Rio Olympics, I formed strong bonds with fellow athletes. I was representing Afghanistan alongside more experienced world athletes, which was an intimidating experience for someone so new to the sport. I can still remember how nervous I was, waiting off field for my race in the 100-metre heats.

I didn’t win my race, but I took away so much from the Olympics. There was so much genuine comradery and kindness between competitors. Among the athletes, competition stays on the field, and friendships begin and thrive once we step off.

I was the only Afghan woman at both the Rio and Tokyo Games. Despite language barriers, I could still spark new friendships that I'll cherish for life. 

Since the Tokyo Olympics, I have found refuge in Australia, leaving behind my homeland for the second time. I’m grateful to have found a safe home here for my family, but I still watch for news of Afghanistan, where two of my brothers remain.

Image: Supplied.

My family received great support in resettling in Australia, from the Australian Government, from refugee resettlement provider Settlement Services International, and from the Olympic Committee.

I still hold hope that my two brothers will be able to safely join us here in the future. As for my future and sports career, I hope that I'll represent my country again, but this time from my new home in Australia.

Feature Image: Supplied.